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    dots Submission Name: cartographydots

    Author: trinityfinger
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 136/343/209
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Limerick/Vampire
    Total Views: 923
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1316

       This one makes me happy in a strange, frissioning ball-of-energy sort of way...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    and if it were that easy
    i'd give you a postcard scrawled with indian ink
    which says everything needed to be known
    in a heartbeat washed in cyan and magenta
    and a dab of sunflower
    the colour of home
    and well-wishes before confetti is thrown
    off one of those sparkling ocean liners
    destined for some hard to pronounce grecian port
    "where are you now? between days spent fishing
    and diving in the seychelles
    comfortably unaware
    of the thousands displaced
    by the latest numbing
    where are we now is a fitting entry to a novel
    you say i'm meant to write describing moments of insanity
    and devotion and happiness found in some future world
    where owning all five senses would be a gift and not a promise
    where not everything would be divided into three square meals
    of clasped hands offering prayers
    to the unknown yet slightly believable notion
    that is god in whatever form your mind and origin dictates
    to be the history of you and your family
    caught between faith and the obvious
    between premonitions and the avoidable
    of home.

    Submitted on 2010-01-25 02:26:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Haha! it make things seem so simple. the way i wish everthing was in life. Simple.

    | Posted on 2010-03-17 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      Don't change an effing word.
    | Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by VegetativeBody | [ Reply to This ]
      Despite your claims to the nonsensical, this is a very structured and well-written poem. I love the connection between the cruise ship/numbing headline image and the line "caught between faith and the obvious" ...

    the alienation of the artist from society. Can one even claim to be sane? Do we keep pretending to say our prayers? Is there a big commission in it?

    BTW, I always thought it was "India ink" ... but that's only what we call it in America.
    | Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by VegetativeBody | [ Reply to This ]
      You seem to have presaged with some accuracy a lot of the thoughts I had when I considered the title of this piece . Like I know and I know that those fishermen on those ocean liners seem predestined to procrastination and impunity .
    I admit I could like to see that novel , but I think it should be all six senses . It just sounds a little more optimistic somehow . As for your opinions on religion I seem to share them , and even though I'm gonna have to relate the kissy you did say you knew most of the words in your comment so I hesitantly suggest "Pantheism" . You might enjoy how "the sardonic impending preponderance conveys sabbat consortium delusions".
    | Posted on 2010-03-09 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok im back.

    The first piece speaks to me in a kind of stream of consciousness way, where you are immensed halfway or somewhere in betweed the whole idea or ideas presented, it flows and feels uninterrupted and non personal in a strange kind of way(personal to you but unrelatable to me)

    The second part is structured, ordered and I am presented with a starting point, it is "mapped out" if you will, this piece offers a kind of warmer feeling of hope and answers, kind of makes me feel better about the first piece.

    Both these works as a whole seems to wander from the general tone of your works, your 'signature' if you will, I can kind of relate that this has a lot of deeper meanings and connections for you and that is great. To me this seems to speak in a tone not adressing me or permitting me to feel the whole of it. So in a way I could say that this could be compared to a painting that only the artist would be able to savour to the fullest and may mean less or something else to the observer.

    Not sure if that made sense.

    Love any reference to cyan and magenta btw :)
    | Posted on 2010-01-29 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      Um, ok what just happened? I scrolled down to leave a comment as I saw no one commentes yet and here I am blown away with another barrage of words just balancing on a pin and waiting to distract me with otherly notions. Ok. Gotta go through everything again later and Ill comment, now my lid is blown ;)
    | Posted on 2010-01-27 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

    belief beyond pages, in the finite reasoning hidden in another house.
    a temple of fingers searching for the divine
    but coming up empty.

    you speak of shadows, of temptations found in troubled flesh and wine.
    forget of all the little songs devoted to you by a father long lost
    to another country, another wife.

    he would tell you this is how the seasons burn, how each card is flipped
    to reveal the scent of a dusty room: concrete, acrid, a flute
    and piano in opposing rhythm.

    how to believe in circles and freedom, and in the homely and true?
    dispossession in corners and angles, and a body
    sorely out of tune.

    | Posted on 2010-01-25 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]

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