I think I've had this feeling before... like everything is wrong and your life is crumbling, only to find out that that was not the right life. Then when you look back you realize that it all had a purpose, but that you had to lose everything to find the right path.
I feel the frustration and fear in your words, but also the realization that there's more to life. :)
A new write, and a very mysterious one. This one describes the hopeless feeling of falling; something I think we all have at times, and in our dreams. Your poem reminds me too of the frustration we have at lack of control over so many things, where we wish for order and life gives uncertainty and disorder, and random surprises that we would rather not have!