i think that this piece is fantastic! the impression i get is that, Lazarus is seated at a table retelling his tale, as it were. just a homely conversation of mammoth proportions. its both deep and simple at the same time.
i met a smiling [J]esus
this is something very tender and special. as a theologian (well, a studying one;) this rings my bell. if one were to read the gospels a thousand times, cover them with a fine tooth comb, one would still not find one statement regarding a smile/laugh of Christ. now, i know in my heart that Christ did smile and had to have laughed, but we are not told so in the gospel.
Chesterton said: "There was some one thing that was too great for God to show to us when He walked upon our earth ; and I have sometimes fancied that it was his mirth." this may be true. many of the "emotions" of God, or anything for that matter, must be dulled so that man may partake.
as ive said, this is a truly wonderful write. as you know, imagery is very special to me. in fact, i believe the proper use and achievement of such, is that what distinguishes the greats.
i think you are great and this work is amazing.
p.s. its good to read you again. lets keep in touch. i just wrote a piece entitled "requiem for lady Lazarus". and i actually have one about Lazarus stashed somewhere. i would your comments on "requiem..."!
"and this is just a story with multiple endings
of which i am only
It's not exact phrasing, but at least the two works I've read have that in common. Heh. I'll look more in this.
This piece was strange, in it's own bitter sweet way. Bitter, cause I found myself having to reread certain parts to understand what you were saying. Or at least give myself an idea. Poetry, multiple ways to take things...
And yeah, your poetry has an appeal to it. It's not normally the kind that I read, but for some reason I fancy it.
There are few things I would change, only because it confused me
"and I guess it’s here
that I try to explain life
after life after death-"
I suppose that was done on purpose? The whole "It's here that I try to explain life after life after death". Just threw me off guard. I get confused easily now, but after a second reread I got that. I'm not too much of a fool. >.>
im saying it was somewhere ‘round 4pm-
there was a definite chill in the air
and the way faces froze
and breaths were held
added to the resurrection blues"
This is pretty much my favorite part, though it does have notable competition with the rest of the poem. But yeah, around that same time is when I grow weary of things, and you can't help but shake a shiver. Perhaps that's not what you meant, but I related to it that way. Haha.
Anyhow, this was yet another pleasant read. Keep up the good work girl
You've taken on this strange depth since you've started writing again... it's a little darker, even. I like it, of course. It's really beautiful.
This poem is no exception. I love the ending, and everything from beginning to middle. I kinda favor biblical-slanted things lately, Lazarus was always of interest to me. And no, not just the department store... ;)
Ok So I love this piece for a couple reasons Im gonna start with my only nit picking thing about it though to get the b.s. out of the way.
I feel like here you dont need to say "And"
" there was a definite chill in the air...
the way faces froze
breaths were held
added to the resurrection blues"
Strangley enough I feel a connection to this piece because of how life has been turning out for me, because it doesn't have to be an actual physical death to find a sence of rebirth. Changing ones life can be seen as a period of dying the you that was is gone and what remains is the you you are now. Im sorry I've been missing in action, but I've been down some darker roads, but Im looking upwards again, and fighting to get my pen back if you know what I mean, Im glad you enjoyed my last post. Wish you could have seen the woman who its about as she was dancing then you might understand though its done it isn't and I could write a million words a day for the rest of my life and never truly capture the moment.
I hope all is well and that I get to see more new stuff from you!