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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Helpdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stefhy
    ASL Info:    21/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 165/83/37
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 652
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1292



    Description:
       More diary than anything.
    Love is blind and will never find it's way completely without some direction.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHelpdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dear words,
    What have you ever really accomplished?
    The beating hasn't stopped yet, and so the walls are still open,
    And there you are inviting company in,
    When all they're going to do is leave.

    When did tears become more inevitable than the rain?
    The water cuts through heat either way,
    and evaporates without us.

    Dear mouth,
    Since when did you start saying more than I knew myself?
    -Less than what's always needed.
    Can't you be as strong as the smile you fake,
    Let them believe you're capable, please.

    When did betrayal become so easy to come by, and watch?
    Hiding inside a bubble isn't quite what it used to be,
    even the bubble shatters to cut me.

    Dear Heart,
    You felt him for what he is, what he wants,
    and how great he is without you,
    Why can't you beat without his touch?
    Or slow down when you feel it?
    Everytime his name is etched into your side, you always take so long to heal yourself.
    Just incase he returns to find himself inside you.

    Dear Eyes,
    I know he's beautiful, but you're my last chance at logic.

    Help.




    Submitted on 2010-01-28 03:09:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow what a turnaround...the eyes as the last hope for making a sane decision to run...

    the eyes are usually what fall first...the look gets us and then eventually the mouth, the ears, the heart penetrated last and most...

    i like this little collections of short letters...i want the responses too...lol

    "can't you be as strong as the smile you fake?"

    that is such a good line...there are many here...it is difficult to name them all...but this piece is so clever...i also find it hard to believe there has not been more reaction to it....

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is excellent! I can't believe it hasn't gotten any comments.

    In poetic muse form it describes that intellectual agony we all go through about a failed love affair, with so many questions, particularly questions the heart asks that the mind and the world doesn't have answers for!!

    Nice work, Steffy!
    | Posted on 2010-09-24 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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