[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: ideas of a girldots

    Author: xxdellybooxx
    ASL Info:    17 female killaloe
    Elite Ratio:    1.34 - 1/4/5
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 729

       a place of mind change in a instant so be carefull

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsideas of a girldots

    she sits there quietly thinking to herself
    thinking of times when she wasnt afaird
    thinking of times when she didnt always cry
    thinking of times when nothing was in the way
    thinking of times when she didnt have to fake a smile
    thinking of times when she didnt feel dead inside
    thinking of ways to stop all this sorrow
    eg.killing/hurting herself
    but nothing even death could stop her pain
    she only wanted to change for him
    to change the way she felt
    to change what she had done
    to change what she had said
    to change everything that had happened
    tears fell her face as she quietly whispered

    "why me"

    Submitted on 2010-01-28 10:54:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      thanks so much i really appricate that
    | Posted on 2010-03-02 00:00:00 | by xxdellybooxx | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great piece and has a good flow and rythem to it. I love the fact it has basic pattern through the first half and then in the middle and stop and turn point that doesnt fit the pattern and fads into a similar but different pattern in the words it gives a great mental picture of the emotion and mindset of the subject. I can relate to this as well. Powerfull piece, keep writing.

    | Posted on 2010-01-30 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]