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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pointlessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xxiknownowxx
    ASL Info:    16/F/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 128/41/40
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 486
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1340



    Description:
       So, this is a pretty simple poem, (I think) but, it kind of just came out so I posted it. Opinions please. I知 just curious of what people think. It's not like I normally write. I was kind of experimenting. Tell me though, keep or throw out?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPointlessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I知 a soul that never had a soul.
    An endless frame with a coulourless picture full of hate.
    I致e never had a second thought, let alone a first;
    Delightful without a taste.

    I知 a record player without a needle
    And a needle without thread.
    I知 a book, blank, with no pictures or writing,
    A body without a head.

    I知 a tree that has no roots or leaves,
    A pen without a spring.
    A hand without any fingers,
    Sand without a sea.

    I知 a can without an opener.
    Grass without green or brown.
    A shoe without a lace
    Music without any sound.

    I知 a scream without a mouth
    Emotions without love, fear, happiness or pain.
    I知 the legs that have passion to run a thousand miles,
    That will never run again.

    I知 a jacket with no skin to warm,
    Camouflage with nothing to hide.
    A child that can稚 be born,
    An opinion with no other sides.

    I知 a container without anything to contain,
    A thought without a brain.
    I知 the most famous to ever be known
    And you don稚 even know my name.

    I知 a shoe without a foot to hold,
    A foot without a heel.
    I am pointless.
    And pointless is how I feel.




    Submitted on 2010-01-28 13:23:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW... you dont understand, you just literally made my heart leap....with what i dont know. this is one poem i could read a thousand times and still mule over. very nicely written, it makes you think.

    If i couldnt have my words, i would give away my eyes to see.

    ~MAGGER
    | Posted on 2010-02-01 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      
    Keep it.

    In a way this kind of writing is a good exercise I think -- because it makes you form thoughts in accordance to a certain concept and provides a way to sort of let your creativity wander.

    It is not a fantastic, mind-blowing poem -- but really, it doesn't need to be and I fully enjoyed the conclusions you came to.

    These lines are particularly succinct:

    I'm a record player without a needle
    And a needle without thread.


    -- in how you carried one image (the needle) over into a new image by the same name.

    And the whole poem is relating of non-relating. I found it enjoyable to read and it seems like it would be enjoyable, in a way, to write in this style. Though, obviously, the content is quite depressing. To be so empty.

    -Emeya
    | Posted on 2010-01-28 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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