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    dots Submission Name: Toxic Halo (re-submitted)dots

    Author: KindredSpirit
    ASL Info:    20, Male, Burlington Iowa
    Elite Ratio:    2 - 54/139/173
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToxic Halo (re-submitted)dots

    Though you silently beat in my chest
    I'd have hoped you would put my emotions to rest
    For life and love have taken from me the best
    And for eternity I'll continuously be put to test.

    You shine the darkest rainbow
    Dealing to me you're sharpest blow
    Dragging me to an all time low
    You will forever remain...
    My Toxic Halo

    Submitted on 2010-01-29 16:48:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i was ok but what i ended up looking for was context... whether the heart that beats or the girl who shines the darkest rainbow, i didn't know what the voice was referring to
    maybe if you narrowed the scope by identifying a subject to be oded to like this, or if you maybe shift one stanza or the other to the same subject as the other,
    i don't know like i stated
    i couldn't be sure of the subject.. thats all it was good rhythm in the rhyme
    | Posted on 2010-01-29 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]

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