Though you silently beat in my chest
I'd have hoped you would put my emotions to rest
For life and love have taken from me the best
And for eternity I'll continuously be put to test.
You shine the darkest rainbow
Dealing to me you're sharpest blow
Dragging me to an all time low
You will forever remain...
My Toxic Halo
i was ok but what i ended up looking for was context... whether the heart that beats or the girl who shines the darkest rainbow, i didn't know what the voice was referring to
maybe if you narrowed the scope by identifying a subject to be oded to like this, or if you maybe shift one stanza or the other to the same subject as the other,
i don't know like i stated
i couldn't be sure of the subject.. thats all it was good rhythm in the rhyme
Submission Name: Toxic Halo (re-submitted)
