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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Word onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CopperVeins
    ASL Info:    16/f/ A place unknown
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 4/6/5
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 536
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 543



    Description:
       I set up a challenge for myself. Once a day I'll open my dictionary and the first word I look at I'll make a poem out of. Today was my first day. My first word was abandon.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWord onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    To abandon someone, to flee their love.
    This is to move the Oceans into the sky and attempt to soar through it.
    To be abandoned, left in a crowed room.
    Is to be stoned by children you once called family.
    I've been in solitiude when I was among millions, I've tried to fly with wings built of shattered humility.
    Because all I was left in life was the lessons you taught me.
    I've taken desire, wishing, longing, fondness and returned them with cold, frigid, careless words; I love you.




    Submitted on 2010-01-31 12:44:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like the opening drama of this:

    To abandon someone, to flee their love.
    This is to move the Oceans into the sky and attempt to soar through it.
    To be abandoned, left in a crowed room.
    Is to be stoned by children you once called family.

    after that, i think understated in the way to go.


    i think that this piece requires a lot of work, but i wouldn't have taken the time to comment if i didn't think you could have a real keeper here.

    and on understated, gosh, don't ask me.
    | Posted on 2010-01-31 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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