you were still a bit in your rhyming phase or is it coincidal?? anyway I like it. didn't expect the last line cause a picture is visual and wine something you taste. a little odd at first but it fits very well I think. great four lines.
tsktsk...teenage write...red wine...ima gonna tell...lol...picture of you is sharp in my mind/like the taste of my red wine...tripped my too...i was thinking visually and interrupted by scent...but good...like kendall jackson cabernet good..
I just have to know...was that period in the line after the (first stanza?) intentional? Well, that would certainly be original, but taking creativity out on a limb, because how are we supposed to interpret that? Got me thinking, didn't mean to or even want to.
are you cutting your hair or combing your hair in your user picture?
anyhow, i like the first three lines, although the last one threw me out of the groove somehow, and i'm thinking it's the mentioning of the wine. the preceding lines are just about the two of you, and then the last line is you and a glass of wine (which is still some nice imagery, if the wine was drunk correctly, the taste lingers, etc. [pretend that made sense]). still, all in all, i liked it. =]
amy the lst line feels a bit off in rhythm. try adding a syllable into the last line. depending on how you want the image presented you could add "sweet" or "bittersweet" to the wine..or even "full-bodied" which brings forth a whole new image. Hope your having fun. jan