[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: What You Already Knowdots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 75/194/254
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1549


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat You Already Knowdots

    Well here I sit, a cigarette in hand. A thought on the tip of my tongue, like this burning cherry I dim and fade yet seem so brilliant and filled with life.
    Scattered my remnants across the floor.
    Lower my expectations, the window freezes over.

    I cut the wheel and turn sharp, not caring or what I've been told, about this madness.
    No medication could misdirect the pain.
    Oh God.
    I'm so bored of life.

    Well I sat there and thought to myself, my fingers burn numb, yet the smoke turns blue.
    I could smell her, she reminded me of cod fish.
    What a whore, you could see her scars torn across them bones.
    Still so fresh I start to groan, I can hear this twisted piano and it's crooked melody.
    I imagine this is all in mind.

    Slam on the breaks and watch myself fall into oblivion.
    Laughing to myself, this madness just tickles me in the most wicked little ways.
    I chime back in as the light shifts, begin.

    I drive and I drive all through the night, and to those who have known this empty feeling unraveling inside.
    Sometimes you feel like your strings come undone.

    Shaking my head as I watch the world around decay.
    Just worthless people living worthless lives.
    Among them I am just like them and I've come to understand why.
    I am simply evil that's unjustified, so sometimes I stand in denial of all the little sins I've done.

    Submitted on 2010-02-01 21:15:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Some focus involved here. A spent feeling, mind reeling. Regrets unveiled in hyper-bent mode beyond where exhaustion should have sent to a needed rest. Again with the smoke that clouds, veils by choice in spite of the bitterness that goes with it. It it a tunnel or a funnel? Just some perceptions. Experience(s) is what life's all about. Such is never worthless.
    | Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      In the start it was rough, I think you could go back and smooth it out a bit, some words were there they weren't needed others were missing. But as you went along, I can see yo got into the smooth flow of writing this out, maybe it was just that it was starting to fuse together in your head. Either way. I like the idea, we're all sinners, and we all deny it. I think you did a fairly well job of capturing that in this poem, good work and good luck with your next one!

    - Constance A. Hensley
    | Posted on 2010-02-02 00:00:00 | by Scaredheart | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]