Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: compassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 786
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386



    Description:
       about: life without you.

    feedback: all feedback welcome. but i'm not looking for strutural, grammatical, or technical reviews. if this meant something to you, positive or negative, i'd love to hear about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscompassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    his blood slowing
    january veins
    outstretched arms
    to jealous sky
    crimson rivers
    welling up from
    what’s left inside
    last words choked
    by a wounded existence
    a simple stone,
    a requiem in lowercase

    ‘without compass,
    he wandered the earth.
    found north for a season,
    then he lost her.’




    Submitted on 2010-02-02 09:06:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ‘without compass,
    he wandered the earth.
    found north for a season,
    then he lost her.’



    she was your north...
    i wonder if its possible to find a new one...?

    i think it is.
    but i dont think its something that happens on purpose... you know?
    i think its one of those things you mourn and mourn and mourn and then all of a sudden you catch yourself mourning and wonder why youre doing it because somehow you have a new north... it doesnt have to be a girl... it can be anything... just a new mooring... a new bearing... a new way of judging direction in life...

    i think its one of those things that just happens.
    gradually and then suddenly to quote prozac nation...






    [sorry. thinking in songs today]
    | Posted on 2010-05-08 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooooohhhhhhh, I do like this one, especially the ending (no, not just cuz it's the last thing I read, but because it fits so well)...

    And, Who golfs?
    | Posted on 2010-04-26 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      i'd say a lot of your adjectives are interchangeable with similar ones.

    that suggests to me that the writing is a bit short lines of summary rather than being one living breathing beast.

    a short poem like this should be dense with linkage and sonics teeing off, letting the big dog run. (that's golf talk)

    this is pitch and putt stuff at present.
    | Posted on 2010-02-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    182533

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    AI written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    prison written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Records I written by Raphael
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Where? written by ParanoidParadox
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry