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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memories of Reddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Astarael
    ASL Info:    18/Girl/Baltimore
    Elite Ratio:    5.19 - 81/91/34
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 357
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607



    Description:
       This was in part for my attempt to describe the color red to a woman who has been blind since birth. Therefore, i'm trying to use all the senses but sight to describe a color which still might not work for the blind, but maybe it'll work for you?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemories of Reddots
    -------------------------------------------


    red touches the warm kitchen,
    and the hot stove.
    red is,
    the scent of cinnamon,
    and cooked yams.
    the lingering taste of sweet and hot peppers.
    a tomato juice tenant.
    the pain of a burn.
    the taste of blood.
    the itch,
    of a poison ivy rash.
    a steamy kiss,
    and fresh-cooked lobster,
    in a hot bath.
    red is a sauna
    walking on hot coals.
    the fiery sting of tequilla;
    and lazy days in Mexico.
    red is night at a fancy restaurant,
    and the essence of gingersnaps.




    Submitted on 2004-07-23 00:02:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you've done a great job of trying to describe a
    colour to a blind person. this reminds me of a scene in "Mask" where Rocky is trying to do the
    same for a blind girl he's met. white is the feel
    of cotton, red was a hot potato... it was really
    cool. perhaps you could do a series, trying to
    describe different colours.

    well done!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. very nice poem. and what I think is even greater about this poem is the challenge that I face when trying to decsribe something intangible (i think that's the word I'm looking for) such as a color to someone like a blind person. I think you've mastered it and I really did like it!
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Kalidoscopeeyes | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. first off the concept is just brilliant. was just talking to a friend the other day about what it might be like to be blind from birth.. it's just something so beyond those of us who don't even realise how blessed we are.

    anyway.. this reminded me of stream of consciousness.. or like that word game where you say one word and the next person says whatever word that makes you think of.. it just all seems to flow from one image to the next..

    my only complaint is.. i want more
    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is synesthesia with purpose. I really like what you've done with the piece, and the story behind it. Maybe somehow you could fuse the story with the poem. Not that this piece needs anything else, but it would be interesting if you could pull it off. Very nice :)
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      dude this poem is tiiiiiight! Not to get all ghetto on you but damn this is really cool. It's the content that really overshadows everything, but the style is perfect and just subtly fits into the enviroment of the poem. Excellent job man this rocks!

    Peace,
    Kam
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the idea and the challenge of describing a colour to a blind person... the imagery you have used here is very yummy and works well but only if you have seen the colour red... so for a blind person this wouldnt work but i honestly have no idea what WOULD work for a blind person but as i said the imagery you have used definately screams red to a seeing person! though i dont understand the fiery sting of tequilla... i dont think i have any red connotations with tequilla... lol... and ive consumed a lot of it in my day! anyways awesome idea! great effort!
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i skipped over this a couple times and wasn't gonna read it because the title is run together. I thought it was titled memories of fred...lol...tricked me..this was pretty good, although i was comfortable in the start witht the soft sweet imagery and then it smacked me in the face with blood and poison ivy...then kinda went back and forth from good image to bad image so to speak...maybe the order could be changed to make it progress from soft to harsh...dunno...i'm just rambling...great idea, though...i did like this...don't get me wrong...
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]



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