[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: pillow fights with pirates and anarchistsdots

    Author: hidden lady
    ASL Info:    28/female/nebraska
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 116/118/30
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 368
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1666

       this is a two part poem about love and heart brake... yeah I know, clich�, but I haven't written anything substantial in a while so let me know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspillow fights with pirates and anarchistsdots

    It was the motorcycle that did it...
    ok let's be honest,
    it was the way you carried your self
    shoulders hunched forward
    like "you've been there before"
    strength in the legs
    like a cyclist or a runner
    your birth giving thighs
    speaking with your hands,
    you had the right verbal dance
    with figurative flirts finding their way
    through smoke saturated bars
    and half empty beers trying to lull
    you blue eyed devil

    I remember the alcohol we drank as
    we played with learning tools for children
    how you were so excited about the science
    like the spring of youth suddenly found you.

    And the pillow fight in the grass with the vegetarian anarchist,
    sexy pirate and the thirsty youth of the new times
    it was savage and fun, battle cries, war paint, sweet brutality
    with soft cushioned intention,
    ending with feathered snow and kisses in june
    we had sword fights with plastic swords
    and drunken cheers

    I remember the strip club and the gothic beauty
    with the leggings.
    The burritoes and the booze, pouring rain and
    the adventure of cab rides home
    at four in the morning melting into and around
    each other.

    I remember the porch and the einstein tree,
    the lazy nights smoking grass out side
    and making love with the force of gods through our body.
    being so fully connected and intertwined

    I remember being happy.

    Submitted on 2010-02-03 13:18:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ah yes, chicanery dynamism fealties. I feel your pillow fight. Immunity is Epicurean absurdity, we are practically maliciously malevolent in the face of reality and yet we play as if it were just a game between us while we raise each other to new heights. Commendable and most enjoyable. Thanks.

    | Posted on 2017-05-20 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      i saw you on keithward's page and thought i'd take a look:

    two things are apparent.

    1. you showcase a good understanding of what is pleasing to the ear of ones who might like to listen to stories; this is well paced and that is quite the achievement for something of this length / or it is the way of things, and therefore quite natural.

    2. it was savage and fun, battle cries, war paint, sweet brutality
    with soft cushioned intention,

    and making love with the force of gods through our body.

    those are your best lines.

    And, i found they lifted the poem enough that they complimented the relaxed tone ably.

    It's goodstuff.
    | Posted on 2010-02-05 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Incubus written by monad
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]