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    dots Submission Name: pillow fights with pirates and anarchistsdots

    Author: hidden lady
    ASL Info:    28/female/nebraska
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 116/118/30
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 337
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1666

       this is a two part poem about love and heart brake... yeah I know, clich�, but I haven't written anything substantial in a while so let me know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspillow fights with pirates and anarchistsdots

    It was the motorcycle that did it...
    ok let's be honest,
    it was the way you carried your self
    shoulders hunched forward
    like "you've been there before"
    strength in the legs
    like a cyclist or a runner
    your birth giving thighs
    speaking with your hands,
    you had the right verbal dance
    with figurative flirts finding their way
    through smoke saturated bars
    and half empty beers trying to lull
    you blue eyed devil

    I remember the alcohol we drank as
    we played with learning tools for children
    how you were so excited about the science
    like the spring of youth suddenly found you.

    And the pillow fight in the grass with the vegetarian anarchist,
    sexy pirate and the thirsty youth of the new times
    it was savage and fun, battle cries, war paint, sweet brutality
    with soft cushioned intention,
    ending with feathered snow and kisses in june
    we had sword fights with plastic swords
    and drunken cheers

    I remember the strip club and the gothic beauty
    with the leggings.
    The burritoes and the booze, pouring rain and
    the adventure of cab rides home
    at four in the morning melting into and around
    each other.

    I remember the porch and the einstein tree,
    the lazy nights smoking grass out side
    and making love with the force of gods through our body.
    being so fully connected and intertwined

    I remember being happy.

    Submitted on 2010-02-03 13:18:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ah yes, chicanery dynamism fealties. I feel your pillow fight. Immunity is Epicurean absurdity, we are practically maliciously malevolent in the face of reality and yet we play as if it were just a game between us while we raise each other to new heights. Commendable and most enjoyable. Thanks.

    | Posted on 2017-05-20 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      i saw you on keithward's page and thought i'd take a look:

    two things are apparent.

    1. you showcase a good understanding of what is pleasing to the ear of ones who might like to listen to stories; this is well paced and that is quite the achievement for something of this length / or it is the way of things, and therefore quite natural.

    2. it was savage and fun, battle cries, war paint, sweet brutality
    with soft cushioned intention,

    and making love with the force of gods through our body.

    those are your best lines.

    And, i found they lifted the poem enough that they complimented the relaxed tone ably.

    It's goodstuff.
    | Posted on 2010-02-05 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]

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