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    dots Submission Name: It's hard to...(unfinished) dots

    Author: alyssafrench16
    ASL Info:    17/f/inherroomville
    Elite Ratio:    1.95 - 8/22/19
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 347


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt's hard to...(unfinished) dots

    It's hard to breathe,
    when the world stops turning

    It's hard to think about anything,
    when the light is taken from your eyes

    It's hard to speak,
    when your mouth is covered by darkness,

    It's hard to be everything I ever wanted to be,
    when you left me.

    Submitted on 2010-02-04 22:32:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the idea, it sort of reminds me of the saying "See no evil hear no evil speak no evil". However I don't see the connection between the first and second lines in the second stanzas? Some people would argue that having no light would allow for MORE time to think, so maybe for the second line, try something to the effect of "my mind is cluttered with crap". But obviously better vocabulary.

    Similar jist with the first stanza, maybe it's hard to stand when the world keeps spinning or something like that. But it's poetry so it's really relative to the readers and absolute only to the author.

    Good subject matter none-the-less :D
    | Posted on 2010-02-12 00:00:00 | by Saigo | [ Reply to This ]

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