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    dots Submission Name: Like The Ocean Wavesdots

    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 508
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1052
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 3225

       Eh,this one mean alot to me. I fell in love with this boy whose kisses are just like the ocean waves.

    Tell me what you think.

    lurve. =]

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike The Ocean Wavesdots

    Deeply,my eyes are tranced as they fall into the ocean.
    I'm alone,as I've always been.
    My only comfort is the warmth of my own arms wrapped around me.
    My heart yearns for something here
    as my bare feet sink into dampened sand
    and the salt water whorships my tiny toes.
    The water calms and comforts me,
    but it draws my attention,so I look down.
    I can barely see my feet or the water or anything for that matter,
    but I feel nothing but love.
    I've been entranced by the ever going tide.

    When the dawn comes,I wouldn't have known any different.
    I know that I still need to leave though
    even though the ocean offers me everything I ever longed for.
    As I turn my back and walk away,
    I still feel that I am missing something.
    The waves had entranced me so!
    The farther away I get,the more my heart screams.
    The more I long for something that I don't even know the name of.
    I don't think I have ever felt this alone.

    Days and nights pass,and the sun rises and falls.
    And I am miles away from any ocean.
    I am so restless.
    There is no comfort for my weary bones.
    I am going to drive myself insane trying to figure what is wrong.
    What is missing?
    Some say i am a poet,but I could never put the right words together.
    Others say that I am an artist,but I could never paint the right picture.
    And,last but not least,I say that I am a user,there isn't anything to fill the void.
    Only the ocean waves could ever come close.

    Then,one day,I stumbled upon something interesting.
    Something different.
    But it struck every chord in my body.
    It stopped me dead in my tracks.
    Once it left my field of vision,I wanted more.
    I couldn't leave it alone.
    My heart was wrenched and I don't think it had ever felt that empty.
    I felt more alone than the time before.
    I wanted to not just be with them every waking moment.
    I wanted to be together with them.
    I wanted to be one.
    With that one person.
    With the ocean waves,
    I could walk right into the ocean
    and I feel like one,but never actually be.
    This was completely different.

    I got him and I fought to keep him.
    We crashed into each other just like the ocean waves.
    We ran headlong into each exploding into a brillant light.
    Contrasting and conflicting as we went along.
    We'd argue and get upset.
    Little things became big things.
    But in each arms,nothing mattered.
    We were the ocean waves.

    But like all good things,something goes to waste.
    Something will definetely go bad.
    I guess the waves finally destroyed the rock that they had been weathering.
    Yea,I had him.
    Yea,I fought for him.
    But like every good war,
    someone wins
    and somebody loses.
    Just like the ocean waves,
    one of us has to move.
    Guess who was left in the tide.

    Submitted on 2010-02-05 23:47:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      so here I go again trying to bring a new aspect to one of your poems. Forgive me, I can't even write anymore let alone help a fellow poet, but I will try inspite of everyone else leaving this poem alone.

    Your usage of the waves, tides, and ocean here are simply beauitful. It reminds me of a feeling I share. Which I've come to name "compassion" (the deepest burning desire by meaning) I felt this emotion on a very deep level right before my life was turned upside down. I crave it. I want it. I need it.

    not to mention during the period where I caught a glimpse of it, my mind sort of tied it to the ocean, before I left cocoa beach Florida that year. that endless searching. the vast depths of the ocean, it all made sense its own way.

    thats why I liked the poem. It brought a piece of my own story with it, and I found I could relate to it. (including the end)

    I cant really figure a way to improve this piece. your writing style is its own. just keep writing. youll find the more you write the easier it comes. untill the day you run into writers block. that hurts. its like running into a brick wall. :(

    | Posted on 2010-02-16 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]

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