[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Straydots

    Author: Raistlin Sith
    ASL Info:    22/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 106/182/66
    Words: 246
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1020
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1618

       I'm not going to dwell on any of it, but i needed to get it off my chest.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    how can you ask me if
    you're still differnet from the rest
    knowing what you hid inside
    lying like the best

    i knew you'd be a cheater
    but i hoped not two weeks in
    you say i built us on a lie
    but i remember that weekend

    it defined the way i feel
    how I knew you'd break my heart
    and you've completed the circle,
    how soon we've reached the start

    it isn't even lies for me
    but how quick you were to run
    like you can't sit through adversity
    when these past few months weren't fun

    you expect me to give everything
    and i'm wondering for what
    you've brought nothing to the table
    save for ever-growing cuts

    I'm a dirty fucking liar
    told you what you want to hear
    but my feelings haven't changed
    they won't in twenty years

    I am the man I always was
    and I won't apologize
    I don't care what you find normal
    when will you realize

    nothing about me has been that way
    not a moment in my life
    I won't buckle under this duress
    so put away the fucking knife

    i mean what did you expect
    when you ignore how i feel?
    no matter how i try to reason
    it couldn't always have been real

    you feed off the control
    and the conflict had to end some way
    I'd never actually give up
    but you led yourself astray.

    Submitted on 2010-02-06 00:16:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well i will say that the description is the key, you won't dwell because you already have....

    favorite lines
    I'm a dirty [censored] Liar
    i think the L should be capitalized....

    8Th stanza
    i like Bukowski

    i like the redundancy in the title because it is a vulgar poem, but i think you have to change somehow on what it is a stray or astray their can be no opportunity for misinterpretation
    | Posted on 2010-02-07 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]