Hm - This thing kinda meandered around for a long time. I was starting to wonder if this was just some description of some dream place. then when you started saying stuff of interest it seemed a departure instead of a extension of the description.
Some of those assertions would trip up some people too. For instance aren't we also what other people think we are? My Great-grandmother exists in my head, and she is exactly what I think she is. My Grandmother exists in philly, and to my knowledge (which is my only measure) she is also exactly who I think.
Also some of the imagery is sketchy, although most of it is very pretty. For instance, I'm not sure how I feel about 'searing tides'. There are some juxtapositions that just sound wrong in practice but good in logic. Also, would it be the heart and sword that peace carry? Should the heart be one of the major players in peace? For instance when the Goths swept into the Roman empire they were fleeing starvation, but also killing alot of people. The heart would try to find some middleground, which was there for a while as both sides battled to kill each other. In the end, peace was acccomplished through the justice of the Romans having had their day in the sun and the Goths just beginning it. Perhaps you might change that heart to a balance? shard
this is really good...beautiful imagery...could use a lttle punctuation to help the flow...also, once i walked through the doors and began to experience this...i was confused when i was told to stand before them again in the end...tripped me up a little...very nicely done...not sure about that pic, though...it's pretty funny...good job...