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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Donedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Venting
    Total Views: 502
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       to my ex we were going to get married things feel apart seperated and then tried to make it work but its simply not meant to be


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm done with your harassment
    I'm through with your over protective personality
    I'm getting rid of your jealous tendencies

    As the heavens above pour snow onto us,
    Your understanding for my absence is nonexistent
    Your childish behavior has worn me down to nothing
    Your demanding personality has only stripped me of everything I long for...

    Freedom,
    Understanding,
    Love...

    I am walking away from you,
    I'm not looking back,
    And I have no regrets,

    Nor will I ever have regrets.




    Submitted on 2010-02-08 21:00:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The feelings expressed in this writing are beautiful and the use of listing is well thought out. I wonder if you need the final 'and' before the last line as it slows the reading at an uncomfortable point.
    Just a few spelling corrections though:

    1st stanza 2nd line: Threw > through

    1st stanza 3rd line: ride > rid

    2nd stanza 1st line: poor > pour

    2nd stanza 2nd line: your > Your
    | Posted on 2010-02-09 00:00:00 | by StarAcabar | [ Reply to This ]
      cathartic

    i would state... i feel connected by way of being on the end of the comments

    like that song by carly simon
    i'm so vain...
    i hate vanity...it gets so inclusive... like as soon as you invite one vain tendency in then later you need another and another and another until you are all that you can see...

    i think thats when people loose control and start swinging....
    i mean when Freedom Understanding and Love go on the defensive life might be better off over... and there has to be some thing some trait that fasts regret...
    | Posted on 2010-02-09 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]


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