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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Certifiable.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: orpheus
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 188/165/57
    Words: 376
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Death
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2432



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCertifiable.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some people just say that they're crazy,
    I've been certified.
    You can tell I've been there and back,
    With every word I write.
    With every verse I rhyme,
    For my families sake,
    I'll stay on the surface line.
    Just like Turpintine on water.
    My moves were serpentine,
    I would curse and Lie.
    When they would catch me out
    Then I would squirm and writhe.
    The worm in ripe apple was I,
    No longer the apple of their eye.
    It was tooth for tooth,
    And an eye for an eye,
    One for one and all for none.
    The punishment I underwent,
    As an awful son.
    Sought the gun locked in the safe,
    After I stole the key.
    Bought it up to my forehead,
    To free my soul diseased.
    I took a hold and squeezed,
    But hesitated...
    Before the hammer had hit the pin,
    And the bullet was detonated.
    I knew hell was waiting,
    While heaven was wailing,
    But before I went away then,
    I had something to say...

    "Please say a prayer for me,
    Just say a prayer for me,
    Save a prayer for me
    Pray for me"

    In that moment,
    I realized that I was border Line.
    Caught my eye in the mirror,
    Where-in I saw a guy.
    Just the reflection,
    Scorned with lies who ought to try,
    Therapy and a medicince,
    From the assortment line.
    Or he's sure to die there and then,
    Fighting a loosing war inside.
    His own tortured mind,
    Held captive,
    Bound like wrist to ankle,
    The clock steadily ticking,
    Now he's short of time.
    Needed to be rescued,
    Like by the jaws of life.
    And blessed to like bless you,
    From the Lord and Christ.
    I let the Parabellum fall aside,
    Part of the story I had to tell 'em.
    Short of pride,
    Like a captured fellon.
    So back I went then to the safe,
    To replace what I took.
    Amazing Grace reverberated,
    in my brain while I shook my head,
    Like you do,
    While you read my book full of prayers,
    DJ bring in the hook right here...


    "Please say a prayer for me,
    Just say a prayer for me,
    Save a prayer for me
    Pray for me"




    Submitted on 2010-02-09 04:32:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, you have some good lines here and there. Unfortunatly though mostly the lines seemed forced or really childish.

    My advice is to pick out the lines that are stupendous, (and there are a few that are truely remarkable) and then try again.

    Just trying to help!
    Carrie:)
    | Posted on 2010-02-15 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


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    182791

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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