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    dots Submission Name: Mr & Mrs Clay & The Serpent Of Timedots

    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 291
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1862


    I can't solve the puzzle of creation and evolution, but it's always good for a laugh at everybody who are trying to solve it.

    Somebody complimented me about satirizing the Bible non-maliciously. Well, I guess one could go too far with that, and in this piece I have tried to do so.

    Is irony just a poor substitute for humour? Then what is the real humour? My kid laughs his most when he slices me up with his imaginary light-sabre. I guess we are all just Divinity's cute furry predator cubs!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMr & Mrs Clay & The Serpent Of Timedots

    Perplexing it is to rhyme
    About Mr & Mrs Clay
    And their friend The Serpent Of Time
    (A creator in its own way),

    For the Clays were strangely learned
    In knowledge of evil and good
    Without ever having turned
    Their hand to either, though should

    They ever find out how to do
    Discernible acts of the same,
    The Serpent Of Time wouldn't rue
    Revealing such rules of the game

    As it did, being stuck up a tree
    When the Clays called the fire brigade,
    Which it was so grateful to see
    That it told them some laws God had made!

    So that Mr & Mrs Clay
    Got dressed in a towering snit,
    Left town in the rudest way,
    And said nasty things about it.

    Well, The Serpent Of Time felt scarred
    to be misinterpreted so
    And God was laughing so hard
    That it too decided to go,

    Rather than stand for The Lord's
    Ridicule and disrespect:
    So for whatever honour affords
    Those three made their pact to defect.

    Now that wiped the grin off His Nibs
    Who instantly set out to gain
    (With the aid of some little white fibs)
    The allegiance back of those twain -

    Mr & Mrs Clay -
    Although they were rather fain
    The Serpent Of Time to obey
    and develop a larger brain.

    The rest is known to us all:
    A denouement bizarre and tragique
    In which whom is to blame for the Fall
    Is still obfuscated with pique,

    With the fates of the year-trudging Clays
    In the hands of The Serpent Of Time
    While their Maker eternally says
    That evolving at all is a crime.

    Submitted on 2010-02-09 17:58:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    And ya know I am a fan of rhyming poems. I think this one was quite good in that regard as well.

    Have a good night.
    | Posted on 2010-02-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this ended quite well. The last line was Very striking. I think you may not have gotten as many comments on this for two reasons...one...the last line sums it up and makes the meaning nice and tidy. Perhaps too tidy, but its refreshing how you did that to me. People always want to wonder around here and wish for poems that keep them wondering. But this one doesnt do that. A sharp jab in the nose. The other reason, it dabbles in religion and gives a twist to what is written or told in religious arenas. People tend to not like it when their religions are shown to them in a different way, ya know? I bet those that did read this thought about it for a while though. Maybe even re-read it a time or two. This is my first time reading it. I think that maybe that second to last stanza may have too many not often seen words and that made the comment ratio:read low. And I think I should have put some spaces and hit the enter key more in my comment, but nonetheless...no one critiques comments do they? Hee-hee, ha-ha, ho-ho. Not too shabby of a write Glen. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2010-02-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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