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    dots Submission Name: claritydots

    Author: middybear
    Elite Ratio:    1.76 - 3/4/4
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1013

       more of a rant from a while back i never posted thought it was kinda cool i still had it so yea here it is a little scary but what ever lol

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I dream of things around me
    Beings of sorts
    Things I cannot explain
    Certain phenomena
    I hope of a brighter future

    There is no hope
    No future
    Out world is damned

    Death will come to all who look for life
    Life is a sad excuse for happiness when all it brings is misery

    Misery makes you stronger so fight for it
    Be miserable but be joyous devious knifing
    Damn all who get in your way?

    Be sadistic
    Be loyal to no one
    What is love but a sad excuse of anything?

    Oh I love you dear
    I love you not
    Nothing is ever going to be okay
    Here on earth all we do is rot in self pity
    Self centered teens are the youth of our nation

    We might as well commit suicide were all dammed after all through vengeance and fire we'll fall

    Heed this warning heed it well
    Along with me you'll burn in hell.

    Submitted on 2010-02-10 12:50:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      "Heed this warning heed it well
    Along with me you'll burn in hell."

    Yes. Oh my goodness, I love this line. It is the absolutely perfect way to end this piece. Kudos to you!

    I do say that I enjoyed reading this so much. I'm going to favorite it as soon as I'm done with this.

    I am assuming that you had used your phone again? Then I do understand why it is as it is. So I will not punch at your grammar or anything this time. Sorry about that, by the way. O-o

    And I absolutely L-O-V-E-D how the last line for each stanza fit into the next one. It's so creative. I mean, I hadn't noticed at first until about the third stanza, and then I had to go back and read to make sure I was reading it right. I don't know if you meant to do that on purpose, but.... but don't change that, okay?

    Yes, sweety. I adored this. It is going on my favorites list.
    | Posted on 2010-02-11 00:00:00 | by AshKetchumLuv | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with you on it being more a rant. I get the impression someone has really pissed you off more than anything else. Perhaps, several some ones, in fact. We all have those days I think.

    This line here...

    "Be miserable but be joyous devious knifing"

    I love it. It brings out the evil intent, and it is also where I first got that you were really in a 'mood' if you get my meaning. On the up side I feel this way often myself, so it was great to see someone else does too.

    I can truly relate to the self centered teenís line too, it's exactly what I see every day.

    It's that little dark side that we all have in us, and I think the ranting of words together like this just lets it out so we can continue on.

    On the lower side of it all, the way this began really threw me. I thought for sure it was going to be a good poem, and then you just let loose. That is why I would rather call it a rant.
    Perhaps you could use the beginning of this as a new poem you intend to make?
    | Posted on 2010-02-10 00:00:00 | by Yelena | [ Reply to This ]

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