[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sinkingdots

    Author: DarkGunslinger
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 7/25/23
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 659
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 570

       clearly influenced by Godspeed You! Black Emperor.

    enjoy, or kill yourself. Whatever suits thy fancy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A ship stands empty in the harbor
    There is no sound
    The seagulls have all died
    and all the metal has rusted

    Men look to the sky for answers
    and the stars are glass
    reflecting their shame and fear
    and all the metal has rusted

    Fires light the world in orange
    stained glass blood
    spills onto the broken concrete
    and all the metal is rusted

    A ship stands in an empty harbor
    there is no sound
    all the sailors have died
    and all the metal is rusted

    Submitted on 2010-02-10 23:26:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I laughed when you said enjoy or killl yourself then I read the poem and it actually depressed me even though i have no clue why. Anyway This is amazing I love the imagery the flow and how in the last stanza changing two words from the first stanza makes it so much worse to invision. It read so easily and nearly brought me to tears and at the end still left me sitting asking you why in the heck did this make me so freaking sad? I like a write that forces you to think and in its simple way this one does just that. Definatley a fav. Great piece, keep writing.

    | Posted on 2010-02-11 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    AI written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fasade written by jackz
    True Death written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]