[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Broken Vowdots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 880

       I just wrote this in about 10 minutes about a friend of mine, who through ignorant eyes, seemingly has utter contempt for me, not knowing my actions were only because I cared. MAybe too much. I know the piece is rough but Im more or less posting it for venting quality. Some days I wish I could end emotion cut the strings....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Broken Vowdots

    I called you brother
    Vowed to draw swords
    with you and no other

    Now you spit in my face
    as I run to fight
    at your side

    So many scars
    because I believed in you

    You gave the worst
    You’ve scarred my heart

    A reasonto break my vow

    Would have given my life for you
    Now I live to see you dead

    My brother is gone
    and your standing
    at the point of my sword

    I will not falter
    You know not my true skill
    Nor my heart

    Your blade shall break
    upon me as
    water against rock

    Your shield will splinter
    as you try to parry
    what I have to say

    I shall avenge you brother
    by killing the monster
    parading around in your skin

    Submitted on 2004-07-23 10:56:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      For writing it in less than ten minutes, this is wonderful. I think that you really put a lot more thought into it than you think you did, but if you can evoke emotions like this in a piece that's that full of contempt, then you definitely deserve a place of honor in any hall of fame. Good-great-write. -Archadya
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by Darc Archadya | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I loved this! It was harsh but i liked that. Usually you get people covering their anger with stupid metaphors and this spoke the truth, beautifully i might add. Great work!
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by Elegy | [ Reply to This ]
      Your pain and anger is evident and I feel for you (although I realize this was submitted months ago and I have no idea of the current situation). I can relate somewhat due to a short but intense friendship I had that ended rather badly. This is well written.
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by ber | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]