Universo

Author: Carosuel ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96 /73 /28 Words: 79

Class/Type: Prose /Serious Total Views: 1649 Average Vote:    5.0000 Bytes: 612

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Universo

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El sol es luminoso cobre The sun is bright copper. A shiny penny in the sky, Almost jolly in its ascent, Smiling as it rises. El luna es seda hilada The moon is spun silk, floating softly in the dark. Crystalized mirror of the night. Y lo observador And I am observer. Just a point on the Earth's grid. Dizzy from how insignficant, I really am.

Submitted on 2010-02-20 00:48:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

This is delightful! It is a wonderful example of how a short poem can still speak volumes in the extent of mood and feelings that it evokes. It is brilliant in its expose' of the grandness of the universe and the humility of the individual; not insignificant, but still small in the shadow of the eternities! And the admission of insignificance of the individual is a milestone example of a genuine expression of humility. Nice work!

| Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

you are the point on the grid, Small One, yes. but for me, that point is an axis. my world turns on you and your siblings.

| Posted on 2010-03-11 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]

it is simply darling. I love how you use two different languages. aw. I love the pic of you and Gwen. Rachel:)

| Posted on 2010-03-09 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]

This is gorgeous -- by intent and imagery both. I love its simplicity and poetry. Quite right, indeed. And how, too, it is a poem within a poem. Quick nitpick: 'it's ascent' should be 'its ascent.' -Em

| Posted on 2010-02-20 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]

its arresting and makes you wish you were multi lingual. the close is tacked on there like a bit of what you want to say, but without the care that it will be read.

| Posted on 2010-02-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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