[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Universodots

    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 612


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    El sol es luminoso cobre

    The sun is bright copper.
    A shiny penny in the sky,
    Almost jolly in its ascent,
    Smiling as it rises.

    El luna es seda hilada

    The moon is spun silk,
    floating softly in the dark.
    Crystalized mirror of the night.

    Y lo observador

    And I am observer.
    Just a point on the Earth's grid.
    Dizzy from how insignficant,
    I really am.

    Submitted on 2010-02-20 00:48:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is delightful! It is a wonderful example of how a short poem can still speak volumes in the extent of mood and feelings that it evokes. It is brilliant in its expose' of the grandness of the universe and the humility of the individual; not insignificant, but still small in the shadow of the eternities! And the admission of insignificance of the individual is a milestone example of a genuine expression of humility.

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      you are the point on the grid, Small One, yes. but for me, that point is an axis. my world turns on you and your siblings.
    | Posted on 2010-03-11 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      it is simply darling. I love how you use two different languages. aw. I love the pic of you and Gwen.
    | Posted on 2010-03-09 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      This is gorgeous -- by intent and imagery both. I love its simplicity and poetry. Quite right, indeed. And how, too, it is a poem within a poem.

    Quick nitpick: 'it's ascent' should be 'its ascent.'

    | Posted on 2010-02-20 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
      its arresting and makes you wish you were multi lingual.

    the close is tacked on there like a bit of what you want to say, but without the care that it will be read.
    | Posted on 2010-02-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    AI written by poetotoe
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]