Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stranger's Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AshKetchumLuv
    ASL Info:    17/Ladeh/Nonyabeezwax
    Elite Ratio:    6.63 - 14/15/12
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1415



    Description:
       Uhhh, I was sort of inspired by Langston Hughes. O-o But only at first. I hope you guys like this. I know that it's split differently than most poems but.... it's my poem. So whatever to you. :P


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStranger's Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There once was a man who wrote a song.
    His rhymes were heard throughout the county.
    His foot was a'tappin', his fingers were a'slidin'
    across his companion, the almighty piano.


    I, as well as all the countrymen, was drawn
    to the beautiful melody from so far away.
    I walked miles to see the master up close,
    to hear the song ring around my ears.


    When he finished playin', I approached him
    and sat on the bench next to him,
    and asked him, "Dear sir, if you answer me please,
    why do you play so passionately?"


    He then said to me, with the most perfect glint in his eye:


    "I have had many hardships in life, little girl.
    And my heart has been filled with much sorrow and woe.
    But I tap, and sing, and play, and swing, and sway,
    Because my soul tells me to. It needs to fly."


    I went home that night, feelin' a bit lighter
    as if that man's soul had somehow reached out to my own
    and held me ever so gently, as if to rid my poor young heart
    of all the hardships it must have endured.


    What a wonderful soul he had. Most beautiful in the world.



    And yet I hadn't asked for his name. Silly me.




    Submitted on 2010-02-22 09:37:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your comment virginity is mine! Muhahaha! Teehee.

    -cough- alright, enough with the fooling around. On to the real business. And by business I mean hot, steamy, passionate...

    Reviews. Jeez, did you think I was gonna say something else?! Heh.

    Anyways, I like the feel of this poem. It is just like a normal experience with a happy kind of vibe to it. I like it a lot. Shame that mostly everything else on here is gloom and doom.

    The fact that is was mainly about meeting a really great song writer/singer also had me smiling. I can really imagine just walking up to someone like that and just asking out loud how they are able to put so much into something that may seem so little to everyone else. I suppose it takes a lot to write a song...

    I also enjoyed near the end where it was saying about the soup or spirit or something along those lines felt like it was being poured into the speaker. I think I know what that feels like. My band director is always so energized and I think that rubs off on us and makes our music sound a thousand times better.

    I also enjoyed the part where the speaker forgot to ask the name. Sounds like something I would do. C=

    All in all, really nice poem. If I had been Doug this, however, I would have made it into a short story with a bit of more details about the experience. But who doesn't love poems?
    | Posted on 2010-02-26 00:00:00 | by Fushen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183164

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry