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    dots Submission Name: So This is Helldots

    Author: XxSkyelerxX
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Varies
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 11/27/16
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Trapped
    Total Views: 846
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 750


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    dotsSo This is Helldots

    I close my eyes, block out every sight. I don't know where I'm at. I hear only whispers. I hear only cries.
    I cling to myself, sweat dampened hair sticking to my scalp, stinging slashes in my skin.
    Can't speak.
    They could hear me.
    Can't move.
    They could see me.
    Can't breathe.
    Too painful.
    I am

    . . .

    But I'm not dead.
    So this is Hell. So this is Hell.

    Submitted on 2010-02-22 16:27:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this read. The imagery was very good and the words flowed well. Although I cannot relate to the poem, I really am able to get that trapped feeling that the speaker is going through. It is like the feeling of forever being stuck and knowing that there is no way out. I love that about this poem. The adjectives near the end also had me hooked. The italics were a nice touch as well along with the capital letters. It may not seem like much, but when used correctly then it can give the poem a very powerful feel. All in all, a good read. Keep it up.

    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by Fushen | [ Reply to This ]
      So many different things this piece could be referring to. I am not even sure where to start with a critique... There are so many emotions bubbling up at the moment that I can barely type as it is. How do these things start? Where do they start? Once started can they stop, ever? Right now, no. -forever, no. They have occurred too many times. Once was too many. I wish I knew where to go from here. Actually, there is no possible way for me to know where to go from here. Here is a fluid concept right now, far beyond my reach. Like the place you speak of, the hell you speak of- This is my hell. ...so tortured by my own mind, my own emotional break downs. I set them aside from everything else in my life. Everything else must stay separate to keep me sane, to keep me living. Go ahead, ask me how I'm doing... Ask me if there is anything you can do to help... I dare you.
    Good piece; brilliant use of vague emotion.

    | Posted on 2010-02-22 00:00:00 | by misschalloner | [ Reply to This ]
      I just took this poem's comment virginity. x:
    | Posted on 2010-02-22 00:00:00 | by xAngeliquex | [ Reply to This ]

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