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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A love of Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gothgirl101
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pelham,AL
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 10/41/17
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 431
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 985



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA love of Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.

    I love you truly,
    I love you wholly.
    I love you completely,
    I love you solely.




    Submitted on 2010-02-23 07:32:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this one good work :D
    | Posted on 2010-03-05 00:00:00 | by brokenbylove | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, what happened to implementing the dude idea dude?

    dude, srsly.

    wotever dude.
    | Posted on 2010-02-26 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahahaha!
    I def. agree with theAylsonDiarys suggestion. It would put a complete center on what you are saying and feel the slight holes left inbetween. It laces together perfectly with what you are trying to say.

    Dude, you should do it.

    -Kali.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should write this like this:

    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.
    dude

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.
    dude

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.
    dude

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.
    dude

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.
    dude?

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.
    dude

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.
    dude

    dude, for me for you, I love you truly, dude
    dude, for me for you, I love you wholly. dude
    I love you completely, dude.
    I love you solely.
    (*dude)

    also: how about working 'dude' into the title, since it seems rather strange that you would write about a dude and not put a dude's name in a dude poem, dude?



    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      that was very good. i really liked it. i can see the glow radiating from your smile when you wrote and read that.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by lostampconfused | [ Reply to This ]
      Typical. Simple.
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      That was beautiful. It nearly made me cry! I really liked how you worded it. I could honestly see you reciting that to your significant other... :D

    I wonder, might I have permission to show this to one of my friends? It would brighten her day significantly. She's been down for quite a while, and I want to show her that I do care, and that I'm here for her like she was for me. She's like a sister to me, and I would like to show that to her to brighten her day...
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by Kitkara | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183179

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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