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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A love of Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gothgirl101
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pelham,AL
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 10/41/17
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 985



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA love of Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.

    I love you truly,
    I love you wholly.
    I love you completely,
    I love you solely.




    Submitted on 2010-02-23 07:32:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this one good work :D
    | Posted on 2010-03-05 00:00:00 | by brokenbylove | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, what happened to implementing the dude idea dude?

    dude, srsly.

    wotever dude.
    | Posted on 2010-02-26 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahahaha!
    I def. agree with theAylsonDiarys suggestion. It would put a complete center on what you are saying and feel the slight holes left inbetween. It laces together perfectly with what you are trying to say.

    Dude, you should do it.

    -Kali.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should write this like this:

    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.
    dude

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.
    dude

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.
    dude

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.
    dude

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.
    dude?

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.
    dude

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.
    dude

    dude, for me for you, I love you truly, dude
    dude, for me for you, I love you wholly. dude
    I love you completely, dude.
    I love you solely.
    (*dude)

    also: how about working 'dude' into the title, since it seems rather strange that you would write about a dude and not put a dude's name in a dude poem, dude?



    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      that was very good. i really liked it. i can see the glow radiating from your smile when you wrote and read that.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by lostampconfused | [ Reply to This ]
      Typical. Simple.
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      That was beautiful. It nearly made me cry! I really liked how you worded it. I could honestly see you reciting that to your significant other... :D

    I wonder, might I have permission to show this to one of my friends? It would brighten her day significantly. She's been down for quite a while, and I want to show her that I do care, and that I'm here for her like she was for me. She's like a sister to me, and I would like to show that to her to brighten her day...
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by Kitkara | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    183179

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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