Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A love of Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gothgirl101
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pelham,AL
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 10/41/17
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 409
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 985



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA love of Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.

    I love you truly,
    I love you wholly.
    I love you completely,
    I love you solely.




    Submitted on 2010-02-23 07:32:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this one good work :D
    | Posted on 2010-03-05 00:00:00 | by brokenbylove | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, what happened to implementing the dude idea dude?

    dude, srsly.

    wotever dude.
    | Posted on 2010-02-26 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahahaha!
    I def. agree with theAylsonDiarys suggestion. It would put a complete center on what you are saying and feel the slight holes left inbetween. It laces together perfectly with what you are trying to say.

    Dude, you should do it.

    -Kali.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should write this like this:

    In the darkness,
    I found your light.
    When all was hopeless,
    your beauty shown bright.
    dude

    When I thought that I
    could love no more.
    You touched my heart,
    to the very core.
    dude

    You made me smile,
    when I could only frown.
    You picked me up
    when I was down.
    dude

    When all was lost
    you gave me life.
    You brought me joy
    instead of strife.
    dude

    Now i think of you
    every day and night.
    you came into my life
    and made everything right.
    dude?

    i smile when we're together
    and when we are apart.
    the presence of your beauty
    stops my very heart.
    dude

    i hope as time goes on
    you will see how i feel.
    and i hope that you will see
    that these feelings are for real.
    dude

    dude, for me for you, I love you truly, dude
    dude, for me for you, I love you wholly. dude
    I love you completely, dude.
    I love you solely.
    (*dude)

    also: how about working 'dude' into the title, since it seems rather strange that you would write about a dude and not put a dude's name in a dude poem, dude?



    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by theAlysonDiarys | [ Reply to This ]
      that was very good. i really liked it. i can see the glow radiating from your smile when you wrote and read that.
    | Posted on 2010-02-24 00:00:00 | by lostampconfused | [ Reply to This ]
      Typical. Simple.
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      That was beautiful. It nearly made me cry! I really liked how you worded it. I could honestly see you reciting that to your significant other... :D

    I wonder, might I have permission to show this to one of my friends? It would brighten her day significantly. She's been down for quite a while, and I want to show her that I do care, and that I'm here for her like she was for me. She's like a sister to me, and I would like to show that to her to brighten her day...
    | Posted on 2010-02-23 00:00:00 | by Kitkara | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183179

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    ensnaring the heart written by Daniel Barlow
    bedevilment of looking written by Daniel Barlow
    Sad Day written by Daniel Barlow
    traffic written by Daniel Barlow
    written by lameboyofhameln
    say love (in a given breath) written by Daniel Barlow
    ....... written by Snow9
    Arriving at a conclusion written by Wonderwords
    the immigrants written by Runes
    Gravity written by kase
    highmark written by Daniel Barlow
    If More People Knew Who You Are... written by C. Starr
    Fingers shaking written by Snow9
    G written by Daniel Barlow
    this written by Daniel Barlow
    lovin. written by SetmyselfonFire
    Recounting The Train Ride To Amberley written by Daniel Barlow
    I Am All These Things, and Yet written by lukewarm
    Ever written by Kaygrl
    Without your hand to pour into my hand written by Daniel Barlow
    The cycle of "I miss you" written by Raistlin Sith
    #summerblues written by etheror
    off course written by refused2die
    *** written by TheAirWeBreathe
    Bridge written by Daniel Barlow
    Puzzle Pieces written by jackz
    I'm a Pothead written by weedpoemposter
    written by lameboyofhameln
    Hidden written by ForgottenGraves
    blue circle written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry