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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: It's Just Clockworkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 385
    Class/Type: Poetry/Political
    Total Views: 477
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852



    Description:
       A revision from the Previous.
    I am making a short experimental out of this poem
    any thoughts, critique is appreciate :)
    thank you


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt's Just Clockworkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everyone is
    up
    In this
    amber
    land
    The trees
    are
    soulless
    the ground
    is the sand,
    and the
    animals are the
    hands
    of time
    the water
    doesn't appear
    it is deep
    within the clogs
    or
    up
    above the glass
    apprehending
    us within
    this sphere
    Our
    Stagflationed souls
    trapped
    within
    this
    non vocable,
    soulless
    land




    Submitted on 2010-02-27 23:05:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      superb piece. I would say adapt it quickly to film. the style and tone and just the general effect i feel are both overpowering and welcoming at the same time. All poetry is semi-revealing of the author and i believe this shows that you are well on your way to a finer understanding the themes and laws that govern (barely) our universe,earth what have you.
    | Posted on 2010-03-09 00:00:00 | by colbybradshaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I like the overall organization and how it makes the peice flow. In a way it makes the voice stronger. It's very originial, good job.
    | Posted on 2010-03-03 00:00:00 | by WhiteTiger | [ Reply to This ]


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