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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: poison and flowers in my hairdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: all the english boys
    ASL Info:    15
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 173/239/46
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       


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    dotspoison and flowers in my hairdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the poison drips through my arteries
    in my right arm, crumpling a love letter
    written in purple ink and the words fly off the page
    like bullets from a broken gun
    sparatically asphyxiating claustrophobic letters
    dissolving in my lungs, ink clotting in my veins
    i scream out in alteration, my process of adaption only lasts so long
    reverie is such an antagonistic bitch
    to leave me gasping the gutter
    vomit drying in my hair i styled this morning just for you
    flowers in it too
    but now there is only rushing water into the sewer gates
    and deflated breaths coated in false promises




    Submitted on 2004-07-23 17:04:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it seemed like the vocabulary got in the way of the flow and the meaning. also i think you mean "grasping the gutter" however, i think that the images are good, it's simply the word choices i have a problem with- i very much like the rest of the poem. "deflated breathes coated in false promises" vomit and flowers in new-styled hair... the end was very good.
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]


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