Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart Attackdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cordell
    ASL Info:    36/M/Philadelphia P.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 592/806/391
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 372
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 616



    Description:
       This isn't actually a poem about a heart attack, its a poem about a broken heart :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart Attackdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel the pain
    Itís creeping in
    Itís holding on
    Devastating
    I feel no pulse
    Hard to breathe
    This is what
    Became of me
    Hold my chest
    Nothingís there
    On my last breathe
    I gasp for air

    Where I once had a heart
    Itís empty
    You took from my chest
    You ripped it apart
    Now itís bleeding
    Those razor words you said
    Ripped out my heart
    And left me for dead
    Broken my spirit
    Now I drown in my blood
    You have my heart keep it
    To remind you of my love




    Submitted on 2010-03-02 10:49:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183391

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Yes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry