Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: rising sun perpetualdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Outlaw
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 510/413/194
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 443



    Description:
       lolwut?

    The picture is a meme thing, not worth explaining. some of the words in this one are just archaic and lost souls, give them a break...
    innociduous: (of stars) that do not fall from the sky
    teterrimous: the most foul
    theomeny: wrath of god
    sparsile: single star that is not a part of a constellation.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrising sun perpetualdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you are the sparsile star
    innocuous accidental among perennials
    innociduous lightsmile in a vial
    of blackness; not naught, but a mar
    of rising sun perpetual
    in a virtual, unending castle
    rosary shield guard ‘gainst
    teterrimous theomeny
    the blight of god’s fence--
    the heart of my shell, naturally
    the you, between me and there
    the you in-between, and here..




    Submitted on 2010-03-04 02:40:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i'll be back..i am digesting this one also...the pic is interesting..

    the rising star, maybe, she is...or just rising away from the speaker who finds her in some way real, but unattainable...or not real, but not someone he would want to be with...

    her there is his here or vice-versa...maybe on different planes...maybe he feels in another dimension, he could love this woman...but there is distance, he cannot make up.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      So, I'll leave a comment on their behalves. At the bottom there. I hope they left a comment.
    This was funny. I think you put the Serious category for the sake of irony. Which it is. I want to know who that chick is, actually, she looks like a pumped-up on estrogen 8-year-old. With a wig. And cellulite in her face. Collagen? What do they put now if it's not styrofoam or silicone? Ah, she's got nice hair though.
    But aside from the picture, I think this poem can do a stand-alone expert job. I love the language, as divinely lost as they are. I'm glad you put up the definitions. I love my dictionary when I need it. But sometimes I just like pretending I know the meaning of words or make up my own word and make sure it's convincing enough to pass in conversation.
    Anyway. I'm partial to the last few sentences. The last four. I think it's because there's no big words and no effort (sorry). But at the same, it's a great, because of how brief you are closing the poem. Some people take forever. I'm being talkative again.
    I like this a lot, actually. I'm going to remember it.
    HEY it sounds like rap, did you hear it when you were writing it?
    I hope that's no insulting. Rap is okay sometimes. Other times it's crap. But you got to hand it to them- they're great with rhymes and meters (really? not sure, but I guess) and pacing/rhythm. And it's all here too. Except intelligent.
    | Posted on 2010-07-08 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi will check out and return - promise. You may well be interested in monad`s poems - give it a try. luv joachim.
    | Posted on 2010-03-05 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      (absorbing, quietly, for a few days, perhaps. I'll be back)
    | Posted on 2010-03-04 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183429

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry