Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bonsaidots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1057



    Description:
       oh....i'm old? HAH!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBonsaidots
    -------------------------------------------


    copyright by ruejacobs 3/6/10 7:45 pm


    What do you want
    Oh enigmatic one
    Each cord stretched my limbs
    Further than intended by nature and
    No matter how I tried I couldn’t untie the knots
    I accommodated them finally
    I thought that if I grew to take the shape you desired of me
    I could satisfy you
    So calloused and twisted I bent myself to your will
    And now like any gardener,
    You are dissatisfied with me
    What you actually wanted was the process itself
    And not the result
    How typical and ultimately futile
    Self imposed Sisyphus
    Ceaselessly toiling and testing his wife
    I will cut those cords
    For you I will rebel
    But not in the way you had expected
    Yes, the naked body in the square
    But practicing necrophilia, none-the-less
    How is that for dutiful
    I will heed no man
    Obeisance has never been one of my strong suits
    Twisted as I am
    I can still adapt




    Submitted on 2010-03-06 18:56:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed this. Especially the calm tone in the beginning, slowly rising to the argument at the end. Good write!
    | Posted on 2016-10-21 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written. Highly creative and very original. The theme is very good, and I enjoyed reading this.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183493

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Love written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry