Darkness of a Black monster starts to consume.
Hope starts to fasde as the black webs of darkness cover the remaining light.
My first light has almost faded but a new light grows stronger and brighter than the first. Confusion created with the new light that now bursts through the darkness.
My only thoughts leave me alone in the dark left to ponder with the pain and this new feeling of hope, yet I feel wrong.
As long as your guilt is portrayed by your "Black monster" and "hope" is your present girlfriend (whom you love, might I remind you), you seem to exhibit signs of disinterest or ignorance, instead of despair and agony. If you have love in your hands, and you can stare at it and feel it there, how can you possibly consider letting it go? Your confusion is an instrument of desire, one which questions "can I feel the way I used to feel about her, but for someone else?". This is a trap, a social pressure placed on you which you have likened to a nightmare.
Ask yourself these two questions: What are my intentions? What are her intentions (this girl you are with)?
If pain is something you feel is intended, or justified, then perhaps not being in that relationship (or any) is the best choice. But unless you are leaving her for the girl you believe you were always meant to be with, I would reconsider your "nightmare". Perhaps this is an opportunity to rid yourself of that pain she is causing, perhaps she knows something you do not. Talk to her. Good luck. Thanks for sharing your writing.