My life is a stressed night where the moon tries to shine and fails. The stars are no longer their bright selves. I feel myself being torn from every direction, and it hurts. I have problem after dilemma at my back, and many responisibilites and expectations at my heels. My mind feels on the verge to slip into my darkness and slumber away my pain. Why must this happen now!? I cannot stand it! I need my Darkness once again. It has been ages since I let my Darkness consume me so fully. Maybe I need it more than I think?
| Darkness is comforting and safe. Expectations and Fears are less scary in the dark, where they can't be seen or felt as much. But the sun can blind and burn, it isn't much better. Somewhere in between a dark place and sunny field is where I wanna get caught up. |
Anyhow, i'm done. I really liked this piece. Keep it up!
|| Posted on 2010-05-02 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ] || NIGHT|
The sun is gone , the lights are on , we slowly circle towards the dawn . The endless deep beckons sleep , I listen while the willows weep . Warm in subconscious revelry I lie and think of what I’d be and struggle for eternity .
A most distressing read . Try to remember when you slip into darkness don't forget to take some friendlies . They can be so comforting . My advice , keep writing , it has always been a real boon to me .
|| Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ] || it nice nice nice good good i like like like it very much but you need to let go of the dark it can get you in to aloty troble keep up the good work ||| Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by angelagresham19 | [ Reply to This ] || You need the dark, but here you are putting a large spot light on yourself and your work. Are you sure you don't just seek positive attention and reinforcements? |
You have labeled this as poetry, but it has no form. I'm not even sure if my writing professor would dare classify it as free verse.
You should have labeled it as thoughts. Deep thought/Dark.
If this is truly the way you feel, then why do you question it? I could understand the need for question or the interjection of questioning one's self if it were thought.
Maybe you should relabel this under a different category. You may get a more receptive audience.
Other than these few and far between objections to your writing and class... I have nothing horrid to say.
This is quite expressive and writing is a good way to express. I hope you figure out your dilemmas and get your problems sorted out.
Best of luck-
|| Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by silentmemories | [ Reply to This ] || Offer one word, that does no justice to interpretation. Relation is success, in many eyes, but some of us just wish to know why when we read something.|
This piece of writing is despondent...but why? Thank you for sharing.
|| Posted on 2010-03-09 00:00:00 | by blacksail | [ Reply to This ] |