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    dots Submission Name: Whisper of a Daydots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 335

       I'm working on a few new poems, but they are still in the works. Enjoy this old one in the meantime.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhisper of a Daydots

    Washes of pastel colors
    as pale as your soft skin
    cloud my dark eyes
    an anemic sunrise
    before my long day.
    I wish I could adjust the brightness,
    turn that butter yellow sun
    to the perfect shade of orange
    and turn this whisper of a day
    into a scream of joy.

    Submitted on 2004-07-23 21:56:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oohhh. I like this. Turn up the color. Adjust that knob and let it scream with it's vibrant joy. Enough of these muted buttery shades. Give me orange.

    I notice that you really seem to equate orange with joy.
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      "And turn this whisper of a day
    Into a scream of joy"

    You have really good ideas of expression. This image is so powerful. I guess it is hidden deep inside each one of us, that deep wish to enhance our life. Now I feel it moving inside me.

    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the thoughts you've created here miss cuddle ...as i always do...lol...have i ever had anything to critisize you about...lol...i really enjoyed the last two lines...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      very colorful. the butter yellow sun is a great image. it has a very pale color but you first want to adjust it to lively and bright orange. very positive. I like that positive and hopeful tone. really good poem, I enjoyed reading it very much.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      ever the expert at minimalism.. this is great.. loved the 'butter sun'.. although butter didn't work for me as a representation of brightness.. i saw it more as pale..but that is minor really .. as always you say so much in a few lines.

    but i've noticed that most of your poems are written in this style.. (i havent read all of them so i'm not sure).. but i would love to see something different from you.. a different voice or style..
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the colors you used and the way you used them in this. I love the comparison of a plain whisper to a scream of joy. Very good. I love your work!
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I love to create pastel drawings. Heh, I am a loser, your poem just reminded me of this. anyway, it was a good write, I always did like your writings, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]

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