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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cakelikedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 17
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 136



    Description:
       


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    dotsCakelikedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pregnant pauses
    give birth to
    heated words
    that soon cool
    into kisses
    of cakelike sweetness.




    Submitted on 2004-07-23 21:58:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      Making up is a good reason to have words in the first place,--with your turn of words, I will think of it in the future as "caking" up.I see all these tiny, epemeral petit fours in rainbow colors passing between two lovers lips. Lovely,--scrumptious even.Silver
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice choice of words. Pregnant pauses giving birth to heated words which the cool into cake kisses. You could not send a more visual message than that.
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Theres nothing like the quirkyness of a prego chic's appetite! It's pretty strange giving birth to a piece of cake...but I'm not suprised with all the junk a woman consumes in her pugnacious bit ching sprees as a mother to be.
    As for heated words...thats a gross understatement!

    MyX
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      There, you've done it again! Just lost my coool totally, and no-one around to kiss! What's a boy supposed to do? I am showing this some minimalist favouritism. I may have left the Uppercase out and inserted punctuation myself though. Glad I didn't miss this treat.
    | Posted on 2004-07-26 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Short, strong, tasty... :) I feel like... how few words can relate to some aspects of... life. For me - I feel so much eroticism here - though I'm afraid to write about such thoughts out here, cause people gonna write I'm a sex-demon just for thinking them... It's great, really.
    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      you said a lot in this short piece (of cake!). from the pause before the fight to the heated words to the making up... you pretty much made a perfect circle here! i'm thinking cheesecake... yum!
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece. For some reason the "of" in "Of cakelike sweetness" rubs me wrong. I think *with* would be better. Very nice write.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Heated words? Is this about the making up after a disagreement? Well I liked the three hard c's in the last three lines. Nice sound at the end.
    Nice flow of idea to idea.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      cake - yummy. what can I say about this piece?? well, you managed it again to paint vivid pictures in my mind with just a few words. my imagination is running wild. great piece, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, that was sweet and pleasant, and indeed cakelike. I'm impressed by this because it uses so few words and yet I know exactly what you're talking about. Very deliberate, talented, and unique choice of words.
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]


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