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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: daughterofdeath
    ASL Info:    23/Female/West Virginia
    Elite Ratio:    4.68 - 277/293/232
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 408
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1301



    Description:
       Well another one I guess. Seems as if I can't stop writing right now. I guess I'll take advantage of it for as long as I can.


    B.J.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I don't want to talk to you,
    look at you anymore.
    I wish you would ignore me
    so I wouldn't hear your voice
    or even your laugh.
    I wouldn't look up
    to see your smile
    that I should get so
    excited just to see.
    Everything about you
    just pulls me in.
    And besides the obvious,
    that I'm taken by another,
    I can't think of one reason
    to stay away from you.
    That stops any action,
    but not my thoughts.
    You run through my mind.
    And I can't control them.
    I want them to stop.
    I want you to go away,
    at least my mind does.
    I know it's wrong
    and I know I shouldn't
    but I can't stop it.
    I knew you first
    and going a different way
    than I orginally hoped
    is confusing to me.
    I could be called
    any name thought of,
    and they would fit.
    I would accept them.
    I am happy where I am,
    but I always ask myself
    "What if?"
    What if I chose you?
    or even gave you a
    chance to find out?
    But those thoughts
    make me feel worse,
    because they shouldn't
    be thought of to begin with.




    Submitted on 2010-03-11 13:00:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I appreciated your clarification on the last piece of writing, and now with a better understanding, I am reading your writing better. Suicidal may have been too strong a reasoning, I thought you put it better in the end. As for this piece, I believe the promise lies in the fact that you asked questions near the end of your writing, instead of continuing to despair. To ask, means you are looking for an answer, rather than simply re-defining the problem. This would be something very interesting to hear read aloud, from the author's point of view, the value in this piece remains in the tone and reference, rather than choice words and sentiment (though it is complete, I would not change much). Thanks for sharing.

    BI
    | Posted on 2010-03-11 00:00:00 | by blacksail | [ Reply to This ]


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