[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Lie Boxdots

    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 514
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1480

       I wrote the first three stanzas about 2 minutes before I passed out (pulled out my cellphone and typed them on it then was gone) about 2 days prior to finishing this one... I know it's a bit rougher around the edges and the scheme and flow are a bit nastier than most of my writes, but that was somewhat intended.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Lie Boxdots

    The Lie Box

    Look down at the sky, Watch the sun
    In the middle of the night.
    Feel the snow, freeze away
    and get swept up in flight.

    Watch the leaves, climb the trees,
    and fade back into green
    Watch you leave, walk in that door
    The path that leads to me

    And all will be well, my love
    Come the sunrise at dusk
    Because that's when you'll be here
    I'll wait and see

    And stand in the hot, winter night
    Among the blossoms and the bees
    And douse the flames with gasoline
    Watch what the blind man sees

    And drink the water, within the core
    Of the molten rock at hand
    And watch despair, envious eyes
    Of where that pain did land

    Because here all will be well, my love
    Meet in this place yesteryear
    I'll be happy, that moment's nigh
    You can watch and see

    Balance wryly on a point
    Help the greed feed the poor
    As the charity kills them off
    Clench your fists in amor

    But I am in looking out
    And all those looking in
    Are watching, troubled
    Because this will never end

    Forever wait for this to be well, my love
    But the sun will still rise in lieu
    Looking in, at all the lies; one truth
    I'll still be in love with you

    Wait and see

    Submitted on 2010-03-12 02:28:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I am curious to know why you decided to call this "The Lie Box."

    At first glance this looks like a love poem, but there is a lot more here than just a simple love poem. I would like to know your reasoning to why you set it up this way. My best guess is that you were trying to show that among the harsh things of this world, your love is true. But on the other hand, I have a sneaking feeling there is more to it.

    | Posted on 2010-03-12 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wavelength written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Every..... written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]