[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: In th Beginningdots

    Author: colbybradshaw
    ASL Info:    24,deep south, u.s
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 19/19/29
    Words: 313
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 514
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1878

       Beginning of a short story i started to write. Yay.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn th Beginningdots

    We were riding down the derelict backroad. One of those roads where all of the stop signs are fake. You felt a tepid vigilantism in the air. Oppressive. Neither of us cracked smiles, there was nothing alive for us in the moment. Anticipation of the future was our sole occupation. Frenetically the cigarettes came to and from our lips, and the machinations of our minds began to screech and grind. " You know this would be the perfect place to bury a body?". The question being an obvious truth, went unanswered. Most of the time statements of the obvious are disgusting to the nature of man.

    We were headed to the wilderness, an instinctual striving to escape from the overpasses and angry pedestrians, waving hand movements, and the neon prostitution of modern American opulence. Ill state from the outset that such an escape is impossible. But it is cowardice not search for a chink in the armor of civilization, even if the search is fruitless. The endless expanse of pine on either side of the road blew like a curtain,an impenetrable wall of natural expression, the living god-head. I examined my fingernails,dirt. This fills me with frustration an reticence.

    The road is so long that our destination no longer seems even vaguely viable. It ceases to be of any importance, just another vagrancy in a world without failures or successes. Traveling beyond good and evil on the wings of a troglodyte trinity, on the shoulders of the crushed ideas of my predecessors. The cab is hushed, the sounds dead. Friendship has become......friendship has become obsolete.The thoughts clog in your mind, everything becomes fluid, for a millisecond you have touched the divine and invisible mathematics of God, everything is at once incorrect and self-evident. Just for a millisecond and it is over.

    You are a fool all over again.

    Submitted on 2010-03-12 09:27:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The World written by jjd
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]