Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In th Beginningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: colbybradshaw
    ASL Info:    24,deep south, u.s
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 19/19/29
    Words: 313
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 538
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1878



    Description:
       Beginning of a short story i started to write. Yay.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn th Beginningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We were riding down the derelict backroad. One of those roads where all of the stop signs are fake. You felt a tepid vigilantism in the air. Oppressive. Neither of us cracked smiles, there was nothing alive for us in the moment. Anticipation of the future was our sole occupation. Frenetically the cigarettes came to and from our lips, and the machinations of our minds began to screech and grind. " You know this would be the perfect place to bury a body?". The question being an obvious truth, went unanswered. Most of the time statements of the obvious are disgusting to the nature of man.

    We were headed to the wilderness, an instinctual striving to escape from the overpasses and angry pedestrians, waving hand movements, and the neon prostitution of modern American opulence. Ill state from the outset that such an escape is impossible. But it is cowardice not search for a chink in the armor of civilization, even if the search is fruitless. The endless expanse of pine on either side of the road blew like a curtain,an impenetrable wall of natural expression, the living god-head. I examined my fingernails,dirt. This fills me with frustration an reticence.

    The road is so long that our destination no longer seems even vaguely viable. It ceases to be of any importance, just another vagrancy in a world without failures or successes. Traveling beyond good and evil on the wings of a troglodyte trinity, on the shoulders of the crushed ideas of my predecessors. The cab is hushed, the sounds dead. Friendship has become......friendship has become obsolete.The thoughts clog in your mind, everything becomes fluid, for a millisecond you have touched the divine and invisible mathematics of God, everything is at once incorrect and self-evident. Just for a millisecond and it is over.

    You are a fool all over again.




    Submitted on 2010-03-12 09:27:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183708

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cover written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    winners circle written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry