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    dots Submission Name: One last timedots

    Author: Dark Dann
    ASL Info:    18/ Male/ San Diego
    Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 78/67/53
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 834

       Only an attempt to get something out of my chest. Treat it as how ever you want

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne last timedots

    Drown yourself in endless sorrows
    Leave no more reasons for tomorrow.
    Care not with you what the pain may bring
    Care not with you how lifeless youíll be

    Left shaken in wilderness,
    So desperate and alone,
    You bared no mind to the passing of time.
    You lost yourself in the stars,
    Dubbed them mine

    The clouds come
    Storms follow through
    Can you hear the endless whispers that come with the rain?
    Can you bear the endless waves of pain?

    Come, follow me into the darkness
    Lose your sight one last time
    Only this time itíll all be alright
    Have faith in me, my dear
    You have nothing left to fear
    Thereíll be no more pain, no more sorrow
    And maybe even a new tomorrow.

    Submitted on 2010-03-12 11:04:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this, its beautifully written and sweet
    | Posted on 2014-08-15 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      As I read on something seemed off from your usual writing, but I think maybe it's just because you were trying something "new". Never mind if you don't get what I'm talking about.

    The only thing that confused me for a moment was the "Care not with you" bit. Maybe that's wording for poetry, but it threw me off.

    "Can you hear the endless whispers that come with the rain?"
    "Can you bear the endless waves of pain?"
    I liked those lines from the third stanza. They remind me of how I've felt at times, it helped me interpret the feelings you were trying to express in this.

    Overall I really liked the poem, and hope you continue writing Dann. I had to critique and compliment, you know? It's a change for us all. ;]

    | Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by xAngeliquex | [ Reply to This ]

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