[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I promisedots

    Author: phsycoticangel
    ASL Info:    17/F/Aus
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 23/42/37
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 556
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 898

       When my parents got divorced My father and I decided that it was us against the world. Just recently I've had to fight with him over little things that my mother or my brothers want him to do and he said that no one supports him. I feel horrible for having seemingly turned my back on him. So I wrote this for him.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI promisedots

    I know you've always had my back
    And I used to have yours to
    But now it's all just turned around
    Why did I do this to you?
    I swear its not what it looks like
    I still understand your side
    But they just cant stand up to you
    Its in me that they confide
    I know it seems like i dont care
    Like your facing them alone
    I wish i could apologise
    I just cant pick up the phone
    I have gone back on everything
    When she left we made a deal
    I didnt think we'd be like this
    It just doesnt feel quite real
    I love you and I am still here
    I hope you can understand
    I know I've screwed it up alot
    But still, its with you i stand
    Until the end of tomorrow
    Tomorrow will never come
    No matter what comes, i promise
    You will be my number one

    Submitted on 2010-03-13 09:59:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this piece.
    the overall depth and meaning to it.

    Your grammar could use a little work, but i'm not one whom should comment on that being i use spell check for everything and anything.

    I can't say i know what your going through being my parents are happy together and have been for over thirty years.
    but, i know divorces can be tough; and millions of kids experiance them.

    Out of the entire thing.
    I loved this line.

    No matter what comes, i promise
    You will be my number one

    You captured the feeling quite nicely.

    You shouldn't feel like you've turned your back on him. It's tough choosing sides' with family. Tough trying to have both of them love you equally. Toygh trying not to break, when they depend on you to stay strong.

    I think you'll do allright.
    Hang in there kid.

    | Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by TasteMyRainbow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]