[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Preface to Broken Moondots

    Author: Granger
    ASL Info:    17
    Elite Ratio:    1.82 - 13/29/24
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Friendship
    Total Views: 491
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1228

       This is a preface to the book that I am writing. It is called Broken Moon

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPreface to Broken Moondots

    I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH MY LIFE MEANT TO ME—though at least I got the chance to tell everyone I know and love goodbye. Even in the last few months I had reason enough to know how I would die.
    I looked around the modern-made auditorium and glanced at my stalker.
    I was holding on to my two little brothers—who were kidnapped by this sadistic killer. Glancing into the dark eyes of our hunter; I could tell he was hungry for more than just blood. He was hungry for the lust of power. Watching as my twin brother and my cousin strapped to those chairs in the middle of the auditorium—it was hard to bear that their lives will be changed forever.
    It’s not the same thing—when it’s not the same person you know. The person you trust and love. Insanity, that’s what they call it now and days.
    Coming back to Paint Rock Valley was a mistake; I should’ve known by now, but I decided to stay. When you are given a choice—you have to pick either one. Even if it means that you could sacrifice yourself for the ones you love.
    We barely stepped back as our killer hungrily crouched towards us. With a smile across his sinister face; he was ready to make the final strike...

    Submitted on 2010-03-19 13:25:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well, considering it was just a preface; you had me locked.
    Right away, there's this "WAM!" that makes you want to continue reading. You did well to keep this reader hungry for more. Though there are minor mistakes, I'd go over it (maybe you just wrote this in something of a hurry?). The small preview you offered makes me want to skip the rest of the summary and get straight to reading.
    You know how to get a person interested.
    Good job.

    | Posted on 2010-03-19 00:00:00 | by Koukoro | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]