Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Preface to Broken Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Granger
    ASL Info:    17
    Elite Ratio:    1.82 - 13/29/24
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Friendship
    Total Views: 543
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1228



    Description:
       This is a preface to the book that I am writing. It is called Broken Moon


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPreface to Broken Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH MY LIFE MEANT TO ME—though at least I got the chance to tell everyone I know and love goodbye. Even in the last few months I had reason enough to know how I would die.
    I looked around the modern-made auditorium and glanced at my stalker.
    I was holding on to my two little brothers—who were kidnapped by this sadistic killer. Glancing into the dark eyes of our hunter; I could tell he was hungry for more than just blood. He was hungry for the lust of power. Watching as my twin brother and my cousin strapped to those chairs in the middle of the auditorium—it was hard to bear that their lives will be changed forever.
    It’s not the same thing—when it’s not the same person you know. The person you trust and love. Insanity, that’s what they call it now and days.
    Coming back to Paint Rock Valley was a mistake; I should’ve known by now, but I decided to stay. When you are given a choice—you have to pick either one. Even if it means that you could sacrifice yourself for the ones you love.
    We barely stepped back as our killer hungrily crouched towards us. With a smile across his sinister face; he was ready to make the final strike...





    Submitted on 2010-03-19 13:25:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, considering it was just a preface; you had me locked.
    Right away, there's this "WAM!" that makes you want to continue reading. You did well to keep this reader hungry for more. Though there are minor mistakes, I'd go over it (maybe you just wrote this in something of a hurry?). The small preview you offered makes me want to skip the rest of the summary and get straight to reading.
    You know how to get a person interested.
    Good job.

    --
    Koukoro
    | Posted on 2010-03-19 00:00:00 | by Koukoro | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183878

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Wavelength written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry