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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Make Taco Bell Specialdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: istalkmurdoch
    Elite Ratio:    7.06 - 129/48/25
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Misc/Friendship
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1191



    Description:
       so it was sort of non edited and I was feeling sappy and lovey so there is my pile of sappy crap....

    please give feedback :P


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Make Taco Bell Specialdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It seems like every time we talk
    something makes me want to stop
    why? because I'm not myself
    like a dishrag trying to be a mop

    I remember those nights
    when you took me out
    something in the air
    just made me want to shout

    I was so happy to escape
    from all my issues
    I cried tears of joy when I was with you
    needing so many tissues

    maybe I'm beginning
    to sound really sappy
    but I can't help recalling
    when you made me happy

    like when we'd walk for an hour
    just to got to taco bell
    then you'd by the whole menu
    but me with a nacho shell

    even with their fake cheese
    and powdered beans
    you made it special
    you don't even know but what means

    this appreciation I have
    is purely as a sister
    so don't get any ideas
    mister :P (<- fail)

    love you when your gone
    love you when your near
    oh how time has changed you
    but I'll still wait for you right hear







    Submitted on 2010-03-19 19:00:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I always reckon it's a pity the second-last stanza is necessary! As one of those wierd men who like women, I lose some of friends because of sexual tension. And friendship is the whole secret anyway ....

    This unusual love-song started me thinking thoughts like that and remembering the feelings. It must be a good poem!

    Funny, the metre or rhythm "sounds" a bit awkward when I read silently - but recited out loud it sounds fine! I guess that's song-writing?

    Nuttiest rhyme: issues/tissues ...
    | Posted on 2010-04-11 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed reading this poem. it made me smile towards the end. keep up the good work =]
    | Posted on 2010-04-02 00:00:00 | by love_confusion | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol you know what this reminds me a lot of a friend mine--ahem, fana?--nice poem. I like the lacing of humor in it and your use of rhyming words, although at some places it looks like you forced that rhyme into place. But hey, it's about having a good time, and it gives you the feeling of a good time, so that's good enough. But then again, with a little editing it can be better.

    Thanks for a good read.

    S.S. Aabidah
    | Posted on 2010-04-02 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it! Just the last line could use a little work because it flows real well till then.

    Awsome people make boring places AMAZING!

    Buster
    | Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


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    183886

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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