Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: March 18dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: trinityfinger
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 136/343/209
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Vampire
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMarch 18dots
    -------------------------------------------




    You
    trace metaphors into skin, jellied syntax
    awash in synaesthesia, the sun and always the sun
    a big, yellow magnet to hold every secret
    in.

    A tonal void, asymmetrical, a stony hunger,
    dry lips, the fusion of discord and hopelessness
    found in wayward freedom: melancholia
    and dream despair, the march of forever
    a fragmented mirror; and you,
    verbiage and dissonance,
    a beating heart to finger
    unwinds and finds
    solace in time.

    Beat.
    Rhythm.
    A fragrant hunger.
    Inside our skin.




    Submitted on 2010-03-21 09:54:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      oh I love this piece of work. such a rhythm in the random thoughts. sprinkling glitters of words that made me read it again n again. favorite!
    | Posted on 2012-02-24 00:00:00 | by Iram | [ Reply to This ]
      
    You
    trace metaphors into skin, jellied syntax
    awash in synaesthesia, the sun and always the sun
    a big, yellow magnet to hold every secret
    in.

    i thought that these lines were your strongest set in a very strong piece. you seem to have a fantastic way with words. i appreciate that very much.

    there was a lot of imagery in this write tat speaks volumes. its heart-felt in a Gothic, ride me hard kind of way.

    this is a great piece! i look forward to reading more of your stuff

    -john-paul
    | Posted on 2010-07-15 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      fcking hell man, do you breathe poetry? this was just too big for me to try and do it justice by adding my comments. All i can say is that this is just so balanced and free flowing that it really inspires me on so many levels it is hard to describe at all. Well done, this is really special.
    | Posted on 2010-06-04 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this
    a lot.

    i dont know the significance of the date.
    although you would have your
    personal reasons for it.

    i would choose another
    to fit
    how i relate to this gem.

    i like the idea of a huge magnet
    holding ion secrets and i love the idea of a fragrant hunger beneath the skin.

    i have not commentated much recently on anything
    life rushes past my ear these days.
    i cannot understand how anyone can
    have the time to be bored.
    i just didnt want another week to fly by
    without checking in
    to let you know
    that i still spend my
    spare online hours
    reading through your
    incredible works of art.
    you are a wonder! j
    | Posted on 2010-05-21 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read this several times... I still have no words for it.
    | Posted on 2010-04-27 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Glad to see that you still write like a lover.
    | Posted on 2010-04-06 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing, huh...well, too bad.

    I'm leaving something, even if it's not much of anything, even if it's repetitive like:

    This is lovely, and harmonious like two heartbeats/breathing rhythms trying to match each other, y'know? Have you ever done that? Tried to match your breathing to someone elses? Damn near impossible. I've always craved that symmetry, but only lately realized how to achieve it.

    And there's a wholeness, before everything goes beating it's separate rhythms again.

    Especially love the first stanza.

    Oh, and: Hi.

    -Emeya
    | Posted on 2010-03-22 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183920

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Cover written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Carry written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry