Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Shards of a Promisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: coloredstone
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 99/60/37
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 370
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 542



    Description:
       Broken promises have shattered the earth, the pieces glued together again to make the unstable ground we walk on today.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Shards of a Promisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    of all things broken,
    the shards of a Promise
    claim the highest costs.

    a broken promise
    breaks a heart.
    a broken heart
    breaks another.

    not all the glue in the world
    could put a shattered promise together
    not all the money in the world
    could buy anew, another

    but for the unrepentant the price is always highest

    and a day may come when that Promise
    becomes the woe
    of its maker.

    Breaker.




    Submitted on 2010-03-23 09:34:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      At times I feel as though promises are a dangerous gamble because the mystery of what an outcome will be like or what nature will bring on the good, the bad or that ugly mess that is labeled as unkept.

    Somewhere out there at every minute or hour on the hour things revolve around just one promise and if connected to 5 more people through 1 more.That is a chain of promises in human social relativity because the good and the bad of a promise is shown by the relationships and affiliations people have..

    Ouch.I just had a brainfart, I had no intention in mustering that paragraph but yes this is realness.

    Rexsan
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a great thing to write a poem about! I want to comment on the quality of the verse. It is good because it's concise and expressive with figurative language and the lineation chosen for dramatic effect. But it's not so good because somehow it doesn't sing.

    Only my opinion. Some poets despise the lyrical tradition! But the public hear mostly lyrics ... don't they? Un-lyrical verse doesn't read out loud very well ... a lot of free verse is wonderfully musical ... this poem I reckon is about halfway there, since some pairs of lines begin to set up a rhythmic, wailing form, but then it isn't carried out through the poem.
    | Posted on 2011-03-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Blew me away! Its straight to the point and full of meaning. I learn from masters such as you. Thumbs up all the way. And ditto on the favored.

    -Sharon-
    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      Some things can be mend.....remember that. Nice poem, it spoke to me.
    | Posted on 2010-11-26 00:00:00 | by Apteryx | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it! The world was once one. But it was chewed up and shattered by cheats and lies. Now us. Now the next generations must crawl through what we once called earth.

    Vice once payed homage to virtue by concealing itself. Now the like between the two is as fine as a hair.

    We know not our limits.

    Fana
    | Posted on 2010-03-29 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this one; well the idea of it. Broken promises do break a heart, regardless of what they wore. They show a person is a liar, cannot be trusted, and all that sort.

    Anyhow, prepared to be favored.
    | Posted on 2010-03-27 00:00:00 | by Dark Dann | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183955

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Freelance Grafiker Ankara - Özel Ders Ankara written by bbkagp
    rubric system/ just punch it in (let the machine) written by pioneerheart
    musings on death written by gwenn sundala
    sad blue opening lines written by wav
    Sour written by Passionbyapathy
    Scarlet Fever written by kase
    Paying the price. written by Narna
    M10 written by MyPeriodical
    Translations written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by kase
    White Drops of Black written by Windigo
    Singed and Shaken written by Passionbyapathy
    Pillars and Pillows written by Rainin_Raspbery
    Did I lay in the regolith written by AsiaticFox
    October written by expiring_touch
    The Game written by poetotoe
    DNA's Moon Dance written by monad
    Monarch Butterflies written by poetotoe
    LÄPPLE written by Sethesin
    L-etyourS-elfgoD-own written by MyPeriodical
    The dress written by annie0888
    Final Battle written by SnowDreams
    The Demon in my Bed written by ThtDizzyDreamer
    Forever In My Soul written by Rainin_Raspbery
    Friar Tuck written by Blue Monk
    Born Last written by Narna
    Fateful Life written by poet09
    Between the sun and the sky there is Earth. written by Carosuel
    Do You See It written by Windigo
    musings of an autumn day written by gwenn sundala

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry