At times I feel as though promises are a dangerous gamble because the mystery of what an outcome will be like or what nature will bring on the good, the bad or that ugly mess that is labeled as unkept.
Somewhere out there at every minute or hour on the hour things revolve around just one promise and if connected to 5 more people through 1 more.That is a chain of promises in human social relativity because the good and the bad of a promise is shown by the relationships and affiliations people have..
Ouch.I just had a brainfart, I had no intention in mustering that paragraph but yes this is realness.
It's a great thing to write a poem about! I want to comment on the quality of the verse. It is good because it's concise and expressive with figurative language and the lineation chosen for dramatic effect. But it's not so good because somehow it doesn't sing.
Only my opinion. Some poets despise the lyrical tradition! But the public hear mostly lyrics ... don't they? Un-lyrical verse doesn't read out loud very well ... a lot of free verse is wonderfully musical ... this poem I reckon is about halfway there, since some pairs of lines begin to set up a rhythmic, wailing form, but then it isn't carried out through the poem.
I like it! The world was once one. But it was chewed up and shattered by cheats and lies. Now us. Now the next generations must crawl through what we once called earth.
Vice once payed homage to virtue by concealing itself. Now the like between the two is as fine as a hair.
I love this one; well the idea of it. Broken promises do break a heart, regardless of what they wore. They show a person is a liar, cannot be trusted, and all that sort.
Submission Name: The Shards of a Promise
