Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Ode to the Tallest Buildingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: coloredstone
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 99/60/37
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 602
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 670



    Description:
       The little soldier clad in blue throws his baton into the air--a spectacle of twirling gold sparkles a moment under the sun before with a snap it falls back into the little soldier's hand--wondering how it could ever had thought it could last in the air forever.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Ode to the Tallest Buildingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They think that they can thumb the World
    So they can, but only while the baton twirls.

    Thus we struggle under that notorious Eye
    That invisible Army of ears and minds
    For the merest Truth we are set to flame
    Whether in right or wrong, We are the devils, all the same.

    But we know of What they fear
    And that One can better than any Hear
    His Sight misses nothing done
    His Justice is just and incriminates none
    To Flame will go the devils then
    When the True Life will have begun.

    And they plan, and God plans,
    And Verily! God is the Best of planners.




    Submitted on 2010-03-23 09:37:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You know now that i read it again, i dont think its stumbles at all.
    Just the second line

    "So they can, but only while the baton twirls."

    I think it doesnt fit too well but the reat of this write it amazing!

    Fana
    | Posted on 2010-04-02 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is a wonderful peice! It is a little stumbly but the meaning makes up for that

    Fana
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    183956

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry