[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: An Ode to the Tallest Buildingdots

    Author: coloredstone
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 99/60/37
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 313
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 670

       The little soldier clad in blue throws his baton into the air--a spectacle of twirling gold sparkles a moment under the sun before with a snap it falls back into the little soldier's hand--wondering how it could ever had thought it could last in the air forever.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Ode to the Tallest Buildingdots

    They think that they can thumb the World
    So they can, but only while the baton twirls.

    Thus we struggle under that notorious Eye
    That invisible Army of ears and minds
    For the merest Truth we are set to flame
    Whether in right or wrong, We are the devils, all the same.

    But we know of What they fear
    And that One can better than any Hear
    His Sight misses nothing done
    His Justice is just and incriminates none
    To Flame will go the devils then
    When the True Life will have begun.

    And they plan, and God plans,
    And Verily! God is the Best of planners.

    Submitted on 2010-03-23 09:37:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You know now that i read it again, i dont think its stumbles at all.
    Just the second line

    "So they can, but only while the baton twirls."

    I think it doesnt fit too well but the reat of this write it amazing!

    | Posted on 2010-04-02 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is a wonderful peice! It is a little stumbly but the meaning makes up for that

    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]