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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You unwrap medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: purplesun24
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 1139/1171/167
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 626



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou unwrap medots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were there
    As my world fell apart
    Your arms held me
    As if trying to hold together my heart

    Each word
    Putting it back together
    Piece
    By
    peace


    Youíve always been the only one
    To know
    Whatís hidden behind
    These tombs in
    my soul

    And Iíve never been afraid
    Of letting you in

    Each time
    I need you

    Layer
    By
    Layer
    Tear
    By
    Tear
    You unwrap me











    Submitted on 2010-03-23 20:06:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like this piece...

    simple kind of wording is effective here, and the way it is presented is good as the poem unwraps, word by word phrase by phrase, just as the significant other in the speaker's life unwraps her "layer by layer/ tear by tear."

    also like the "piece by peace"

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the poem, but am not really a fan of the formatting. It reads well, but seems drawn-out to me. If this was your intention, then forgive me. If I were to re-format it, I would do it like this:

    You were there
    As my world fell apart
    Your arms held me
    As if trying to hold together my heart

    Each word
    Putting it back together
    Piece by peace


    Youíve always been the only one
    To know
    Whatís hidden behind
    These tombs in
    my soul

    And Iíve never been afraid
    Of letting you in

    Each time
    I need you

    Layer By Layer
    Tear By Tear

    You unwrap me

    Anyways, just some thoughts.
    Thank you!





    | Posted on 2010-03-24 00:00:00 | by raincloud | [ Reply to This ]


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