[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A whole new concept of dragging your assdots

    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 369
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1503


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA whole new concept of dragging your assdots

    Pffft ! yer alright
    For Christ sake
    I’m coming
    Yes I am


    I know it’s important
    Stop bothering me

    All I want to do is sit here and ponder navels
    Not spirituals
    Yer, yer, yer
    So the little voice in my head
    Told me

    Gimme a break

    What ?¿
    You think I have all the time in the world
    To do nothing
    Doing nothing takes time
    Nothing is all consuming

    Oh for pity’s sake please
    Will you stop fucking whining

    Leave me alone
    Stop knocking at the door
    With that bright ‘n shiny doo dad
    You call consciousness
    I want to sleep
    I need to eat
    I think I need at least half a bottle of Jack

    Tell you what
    How about tomorrow
    Sound good to you
    We’ll do it mañana
    With you
    Manaña is good enough for me

    Hmmmm ?
    Oh for fuck sake
    I thought we’d agreed on this
    Didn’t I explain how tomorrow never comes
    Yes we will
    As soon as I can
    When I’m ready

    What ?¿?¿
    Are you shitting me ?¿?¿

    Oh I see…. Ah …..

    So now you’re really pissed at me

    There is no vengeance you have ever know
    When the vengeance you feel
    Is your own

    Submitted on 2010-03-24 10:44:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, this piece was very confusing. And explanation would be better to get the reader to kind of at least see sort of where you are comming from.
    | Posted on 2010-03-26 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem kinda confused me but it almost seemed like you were portraying someone who had schizophrenia. It seemed like you were telling your voices to go away. I'm not trying to make fun of your peice but that is what I got from it and I liked it so, yeah.
    | Posted on 2010-03-24 00:00:00 | by captureyourself | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    To written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]